Winter in Asheville

The Kudzu Wrangle rides off into the sunrise

2012-02-07T04:54:00.000-08:00

the "before" picture of my closet

after the closet shelf had fallen down, with all inhabitants

The end of February's first week. Feb is excited (we're close friends, so I get to call her Feb) because she gets an extra day this year. She's a little sensitive about her duration -- it's called "short month's syndrome" -- so she tries to pack things in. Snow. Warm spells. Valentine's Day. When none of the other months were interested, she even bid on (successfully!) Groundhog's Day.

We have groundhogs here. We call them beavers, because that's what the little boy who used to live here called them (his last name is Beavers). The little ones are so cute. They are eating machines, which is good, since there's a ton of kudzu around. Kudzu is a very underutilized creature. I'm thinking of adding Itinerant Kudzu Wrangler to my job description & wandering around into people's yards, offering to train their kudzu into a gazebo.

Time for coffee & a shower & trying on a bunch of clothes. I bought a Groupon for Picture People in the mall & am going to be photographed.

Blog alternative:

224. Make up a strange job from bits & bites of your life, or the life around you. Imagine the resume.

Bloggy the Gremlin strikes again

2012-01-31T13:54:00.000-08:00

Howard rears his ugly head

(looks almost classy in sunglasses

& a hat from the Solar Decathlon winner

(Appalachian State!

We saw it in person before it got disassembled

& shipped off to DC for the competition))

Floppy looking cute

A quick little post just to remind myself how easy this is. (Plus it's the last chance to blog in January...)

So, the closet. Much good work done today on it. Not that much more to do. & it's been fun. Even better.

The other thing I've dealt with recently is my car, which started making LOUD mufflery noises when I was pulling out of my parking space at Home Depot during one of my closet parts forays. I took it to the dealership (Harry's on the Hill--I'm telling you the name because they rocked!) & the guy said I could get a new muffler system (it wouldn't pass the NC inspection, which is due for me) for $1100+ or--& he actually recommended this--I could take it to a little muffler shop & have a piece of pipe cut out & a new one welded in. So I took it to this great little shop in Candler I went to for catalytic converter work last year (Budget Muffler, in case you need a shop) & they did in less than half an hour & charged me--get ready--$25.

Okay, so that's bloggy enough for today. The weather is just too too amazing for the end of January in the mountains. High of 60 degrees today, with 63 (my favorite temperature) expected tomorrow. I'm going to go walk in it again now. I do have more to say, so expect another post soon. I'm standing at my computer, which is on a lap desk perched on top of the printer. Me & Hemingway...

Blog alternative:

223. Think of some business that gave a great deal or great service or good advice & recommend them to someone.

Fortuitous Disaster, the creamy underbelly

2012-01-30T19:05:00.000-08:00

Little-horned Bighorn Sheep

(not) swimming in tailings pond

Nye, Montana, at the mine

It is now almost the last of the first of the current. I tell tales of fortuitous disaster: it begins during the last of the previous.

During December, prior to Montana-ing, I got my bedroom/office/art studio spiffed & spick & spanned. The art supplies were organized on the closet shelf & on the book shelves in the little secret room created by placing my pencil post bed at a diagonal & draping a sheet (& some decorative elements) over the posts at the head of the bed. Oh, how lovely & ready for art action!

Then, at the end of week the first, year current, I returned home & began to leisurely use said supplies. During one of my recreation breaks, I was watching Star Trek: Deep Space Nine downstairs, catching up with the episodes watched during my absence.

I heard a crash.

You probably know what I'm going to say. Ah, yes. I went upstairs to find I had exceeded the load-bearing capacity of my closet shelf & all my art supplies & all my clothes were galumphed together on the floor of the closet.

I went back downstairs to finish my episode. (Alas, now all the episodes are watched...)

After some research at Lowe's & Home Depot, we chose ClosetMaid, the new superhero, to take on the duty of holding all. I tried to use their online design tool, but it doesn't work with Chrome, only Explorer, so I did it the old fashioned way, with lengths of pink string & bits of masking tape to represent shelves. I measured some clothes to determine hang-length. I decided how many clothes I was going to permit.

I call it a digital closet, an upgrade from analog, for I decided to hang clothes in the little slots at the edge of the shelves, rather than let them slide together on a closet rod. The clothes are particles, not waves. In, or out. No maybes. No scrunching. I still have some evaluation to do & some clothes to eliminate, but it's a lot of fun--& the shelves for supplies! Calloo, callay. I am indeed chortling in my joy.

My firm nothing-on-the-drafting-table-but-active-art-&-a-beverage (okay, the cell phone gets to occasionally park there, but nothing else!) has worked so well I am extending it to my desk system. One shelf in the closet will be my staging area for papers. Another new rule is this: chairs are not tables. A chair should be a useful place to sit things on, not set things on. We'll see how well that one goes...

I'm still sorting & organizing, but I have come far in this first of the current. As I progress, I shall share details--& even a picture of the closet. It has already spawned an art project idea. Fortuitous disaster indeed.

Such a long saga. More to talk about, but another time.

Blog alternative:

222. (what a lovely number) Count the pants in your closet. I am pretty sure you have more shirts than pants, so that would be a lot more work. In the counting, it is possible you will find you have an embarrassment of riches that cover your ass--err, mmm, assets. You may find that you have pants you do not wear, or cannot wear, or do not want to wear. Consider de-pantsing yourself.

The Ecluse says goodbye to the old year

2011-12-29T18:35:00.000-08:00

au revoir, dear year

I sit here in Montana, the 29th of December, which is my sister Tracey's birthday. I doubt I will blog again in 2011. So many lovely experiences for the year. I would be hard pressed to list them & I would rather be soft pressed this late in the year.

If you email me & don't hear back right away, it may be because I am not in any sort of wi-fi zone & it may be for the same reason that I don't get into the whole social networking thing. I've come up with a great term for the condition--which is a surprising one for someone who used to check her email every 30 seconds or so. I am an ecluse. Perhaps it would be better hyphenated. E-cluse?

To all of you, I bid adieu to the 2011 versions. May the 2012 version be even more peaceful, loving, imaginative, creative, productive, intentional. May your new year be a masterpiece of clarity & dreamfullfillminting.

Blog alternative:

221. Say goodbye to your old self. Give yourself a day or two to just become. Say hello to the new.

Heart solstice celebrated early

2011-12-19T11:42:00.000-08:00

translucent shadows

Well, December is trending toward ending. I am wending (soon) toward Montana. Perhaps I shall blog again this year; perhaps not.

What has happened in the first 19 days of the last month of the year? I won my second spelling bee. Not as many contenders, but Heather, who is a singer, was fierce at the end when we were the last two left. We had so much fun. I'm looking forward to trying it again in January. (If you happen to be a word afficionado (which Blogger does not recognize--so funny!) & you happen to be in the vicinity of Olive or Twist in Asheville on the third Monday of the month, dust off your letters & join in the camaraderie.)

I've also been doing some lovely organizing & writing & arting & photographing & dreaming & walking & etcetera-ing. Plus Derrick & I have been on a Star Trek: Deep Space Nine marathon. Lots of fun to reconnect with my buddies on the space station.

May your trails wend through curiosities & joy. May the light within your heart increase by 3 minutes a day, starting now. (Why wait?)

Blog alternative:

220. Drape something pretty over a bedpost, if you have a bedpost. One of mine is decorated with with several necklaces made by the lovely & talented Elise Matthesen & a hat that says Semper Fi. (Hey, pretty is in the eye of the beholder.) (If you don't have a bedpost, how about a lamp or a newel post or a coat rack or...)

Forget the well-tempered clavier--It's the well-dressed cello

2011-11-30T17:37:00.000-08:00

Nick in a tree at UNCA

Howard has lost his sunglasses

Recently, I liberated Howard, my World Fantasy Award, from the box in which he has been "living." His rather bulbous eyes (H.P.Lovecraft as envisioned by Gahan Wilson) are quite sensitive after being ensconced in cardboard lo these many years. He hid on a shelf behind some artwork & tried out my sunglasses, but they seem to have fallen off. Poor Howard.

I have to admit that the main reason I am writing this is to blog 4 times in a month, which I haven't done for a while. Doing everything but blogging, I guess. Just today, I spiced up one window's covering, dressed my cello up as if she were a woman with a kudzu basked head & an aluminum armature neck, & played some poker at Buffalo Wild Wings against crazy persons who called themselves Pink, Blue & Max & would go all in on crazy low level hands. Consequently, I ended up with almost $30K virtual dollars. Also walked to the post office, visited with my friend Elizabeth, did the usual morning work with Derrick & continued the re-org of my art supplies & ideas.

Nick is back in Pittsburgh. We had a very rainy drive down to the Greenville airport & I hung out at a Wendy's for about half an hour after I dropped him off, to let the traffic subside a bit. We had a truly splendid time. He introduced Derrick & I to a cool 3-person card game called 99.

Blog alternative:

219. Dress up a window, even temporarily. A colored bottle, some tissue paper, a figurine.

The crisper drawer is flirting with me again...

2011-11-24T14:37:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving Dinner

Nick & I

water, kipper snacks, clementines, granola bars, peanut butter & bananas

in a historic Greenville cemetery

We do know how to live it up right! Spontaneous picnicking in a cemetery. In some ways, it reminded me of Paris, because the Parisians love their cemeteries & will go there to walk at lunchtime.

Right now he is coding at the kitchen table, working on his iPad app for Skritter. (You too will be able to learn to write Chinese, as if your finger is made of flame, should you so choose.) Derrick just got home & got all jazzed about the Simply Orange with Mango juice in the fridge. I am drinking tea & talking to you. (By the time you read this, I may be done, but the faint smoky scent of lapsang souchong lingers.)

I have come up with (yet another) brilliant idea. I don't know if it's ever happened to you (Okay, I know. It has.) that fruity & vegetably goodness has turned to sad, smelly slime in the crisper drawer. Sometimes I don't think to open the crisper drawer. So--I wrote a note.

Dear Laurel,

Please open me.

Love,

The Crisper Drawer

So far it has worked very well. The idea is only a few days implemented, but I think it is going to be a much more robust idea than the duct tape zipper pull replacement idea. I kept forgetting about it & starting to unzip my pants & then a few zipper teeth would bite into the duct tape & I had to wrest the tape from the zipper's little mouth &--well, I'll either get a new zipper put in or the pants will go bye-bye.

There are so many things I am appreciating on this day: Quiet historic cemeteries in which to eat a (semi) traditional Thanksgiving dinner. Crisper drawers with still edible produce. Sticky notes. Ideas. The way an external trigger (Nick coming for Thanksgiving) can spur projects to greater completion. My own mind & heart. My own body & soul.

Blog alternative:

218. Write a note from your crisper drawer. Or your hiking shoes. Or your art supplies.

Pterodactyl Diphthongs & other dread beasts

2011-11-21T19:45:00.000-08:00

I chose a photo of words because--aside from the lovely message--I am celebrating words. The last time I participated in a spelling bee was when I was in the 8th grade. (Nigh onto 40 years ago, come spring.) There's a bar in Asheville called Olive or Twist (very cute, don't you think?) that has just begun having spelling bees. $3 entry fee; winner takes all. I made $45! (If you don't count the slice of red velvet cake & the very generous tip. If you count that, I made $35.)

Anyway, it's kinda sorta late here--the bell is striking 11; wee willie winkie is having conniption fits--so I shall make this a baby post.

Blog alternative:

217. Spell a hard word out loud. If you're hanging around with others, have someone else give you a word to spell.

"Where has all the duct tape gone?" & other songs

2011-11-02T20:16:00.000-07:00

& baby makes 3

I have a confession. Right now, my pants are being held together by duct tape. Seriously. They're hand-me-down jeans (thanks, Mom) that fit me as if they were made for me. The only problem, aside from the little ice cream cone logo (who wants an ice cream cone on her ass?) is that the zipper has an unfortunate habit of unzipping. For a while I just zipped them up all the time. Then I started only wearing them with long shirts--still zipping them up all the time, because even a girl doesn't like walking around with her fly open--but today the little zipper pull fell off. Trust me, it's no fun to zip & rezip without even a zipper pull!

That's when the light bulb went on. One tiny little piece of duct tape--easily removable when one does want to unzip--& ones fly problems are solved!

Aside from my miraculous invention, I have recently re-organized my room to include my drafting table--yay! I can paint again! (Oh, oh. The exclamation mark police will be on my case again. That's four already. The parentheses police have given up on me completely. They just send me a monthly citation & I pay up (gladly!) & go on my merry parenthetical way. Good thing the ampersand is not a major misdemeanor.) (Did you know the ampersand used to be the 27th letter of the alphabet & got its name because primer kids reciting their abc's ended with "w, x, y, z, and, per se, and." By then, they were sick of reciting & ready for recess, so that got mushed all together in something that sounded like "ampersand." I just love dictionary.com.)

Yesterday I wrote a villanelle. It's been a while since I poured my creativity into the rich constraints of form. I was inspired by a friend who is writing a sonnet crown (10 linked sonnets. 10! Yikes!) Now, I am not a sonneteer (one for all & all for one) so I had be the crafty villanelless. Bwaa haaa haaa haaa.

I also completed a survey for the McKnight Foundation. In 2003 I won a McKnight Fellowship for children's fiction. I had a really good time with the survey, so I will share a couple of the questions & my answers with you.

What are you most excited about in your work as an artist?

I'm excited by the fact that my work reflects my growth as a person, that I'm relaxed & easy about creation, expecting & receiving it naturally. I'm excited about the many different aspects that seem to be getting together in the toybox after I've fallen asleep or been working on something else, & creating their own offspring (photography & poetry, philosophy & equations, art mixed in with everything, collage as a business plan & lecture notes).

What conditions support your best work?

Plenty of silence. Getting out into nature, preferably walking. Having my supplies at the ready. I just set up my drafting table in the corner of my bedroom & have a firm rule: It is not to be used for storage. Only art supplies & active art projects. A combination of interacting with other creative individuals & solitude. Always having paper & writing implements with me--an idea can land at any moment, ready for its close-up. Touching into my inner self at least once a day. Having a variety of projects & modes of expression (art, writing, sculpture, collage, photography) going on at once, so if I'm not inspired in one venue, there's another juicy one jumping up & down, saying, "Pick me! Pick me!"

What advice would you give to an artist just starting out?

Start out. Start small, start big, start in the middle, but start. Be excited with where you are. (You may groan over it later, but give yourself the gift of loving your work, even if you know it can be better. It will get better if you keep going.) Don't over-emphasize the value of dollars. Ignore that factor if you can. Minimize it if you can't ignore it completely. A joyful experience can keep you going forever, &--if you're not having fun--no amount of dollars will be worth it. Work in little bits. Have a dedicated space--even if it's a card table in the corner of your bedroom--where you can leave your materials out & ready in case you create 10 minutes of creation time. Do NOT allow that lovely horizontal surface to be "a useful place to put things on." Only art supplies & active art shall be allowed. Keep it inviting. If you have to get out your stuff & spread it on the dining room table & then put it away for kids' homework or a meal, you will not "art" nearly as much. Celebrate little steps--sending a story out or finishing a chapter or putting gesso on a canvas--& not just big ones, like selling a novel, getting a solo gallery show, or winning a McKnight.

Blog alternative:

216. Fill out a short survey. You can use these 3 questions if you'd like, or make up your own.

World Fantasy Convention Membershipment Pending

2011-10-22T08:58:00.000-07:00

I've been collecting things I found on the ground. Some I pick up & put in my pocket or my canvas bag. (The other day I found half a pig! The back half, so I don't know who got the squeal. I think it was made of hematite, or something that looks like hematite, & the back half was about the size of my thumbnail.) Some I collect with my camera, like this little pretty.

I'm keeping this post short, because I'm "busy right now" (as Nick said to my mom when he was just a toddler being called in to eat. He didn't even look at her, just waved his hand dismissively & said those now immortal words) but I have a blogging purpose: Because I am "busy right now," I have decided to not attend the long-sold-out World Fantasy Convention in San Diego. Because I am not a social media girl, I don't access the Facebook & Twitter sites where the lists of those desperately wanting to attend are posted. Hence, this blog. If you want to go or you know someone who does or you are a Facebookie &/or a Twitterite who would like to let some "friend" know about this, I am bequeathing the knowledge to you. If you put a 1 in front of the $2 I found on the ground & a 5 after it, you have the membership price of $125.

Let me know, or let someone else know they can let me know (probably pretty quickly, because WFC is next weekend & I have to get a letter transferring membership--I can probably email a scanned, signed letter to the happy attendee) at

laurelwinter@gmail.com

WFC 2011 membership for $125

Voila. Off to my other business.

Blog alternative:

215. Take a look at what you were going to do in the next week or so. Is it still what works best for you? Feel free to change your mind!

ooh, ooh, ooh! late-breaking news. just saw a video of "quantum levitation" which you can find on you-tube! you must see it! not nearly enough exclamation points!

Queen Faraday goes barefoot

2011-09-26T05:17:00.000-07:00

Some time ago, I bought princess glasses at Cracker Barrel. They're pink , with an attached tiara (with rhinestones & a rather strangely-orange "gem" at the top) & rose-colored lenses. Across the base of the tiara they say, "Queen for a Day." (So why don't I call them queen glasses? Princess glasses, I'm sure you'll agree, has a much better ring to it.)

Queen For a Day morphed itself, in my mind & mouth, into Queen Faraday, so I looked up Michael Faraday on wikipedia (go ahead, I'll wait) & read about his splendificy. There was so much I hadn't known about Faraday, that he was almost completely self-educated, bad at math, member of a strict religious sect (the Sandemanians) & one of the most important scientists of his (or any) generation.

Queen Faraday needed a first name, & I chose Emilia, for Emily Dickinson & Amelia Earhart--who they would have been if they'd been in a transporter accident. (Normally, I would set that phrase off with parentheses, but--for Ms. Dickinson--I used a dash.)

Her middle name? Blake of course, after William, poet & philosopher & artist & mystic. I like to keep the Tygers burning bright, in the forests of the night & elsewhere.

I tell you of this now because I am reading a biography of Michael Faraday. I believe William Blake will be next. I've already read a biography of Amelia Earhart, after I'd sold Growing Wings & the editor wanted quotes about wings or flying at the beginning of each paragraph. I also read the complete poems of Emily Dickinson at that time. I do look forward to her biography.

Blog alternative:

215. Create an alter-ego from admired heroes. Hat-shep-sut Da Vinci? (middle name Babe, from Ruth &/or Didrickson?)

The ghost of summer past loses her tan & buys school shoes

2011-09-09T16:06:00.000-07:00

I have found June--or, rather, I have not, but she has been seen with August. August, that rascal, that rogue. He who drives the ice cream truck past the children while they are shopping for school shoes, wiggling his own bare toes. "I am still summer," he whispers in every ear. "Listen to me. Turn out your pockets & try to buy these warm days. Keep them in a jar & open them in November--or, better yet, February."

I won't even hope you didn't listen, for I know you did. Like you did last year. Like you will next. Even though the jar will be empty when you twist the lid off. Summer does not keep. Never has, never will.

But, if you are like me, you were immune to the blandishments of August, for I am a child of the transitional seasons. Spring & fall, when my favorite temperature (63 degrees) is more & more likely to occur, even if only in passing. That is why I like living in the mountains. (Here's a picture of a mountain cloudburst spilling over the gutters at my parents' house in Nye, Montana, where my love of mountains formed.)

I drove to Montana in August & attended my niece's wedding & a family reunion & played many a good card game with my parents. I stopped in the saloons of Meeteetse, Wyoming, on the way up, a secret favor to a street musician I know who is writing a book based on dreams of a sporting woman's life. The favor is still a secret, for I have not yet happened upon my friend & her guitar. Soon, I hope.

Oh, there will be more news in sweet September. Creations of all kinds. (Including the Pearcumber Chardonnay Smoothie!) I sent a photo & 2 poems & 2 stories & 1 essay to the Artist's & Writer's Quarterly. Also entered 3 photographs in a juried show that required the artist's hand to be directly involved. I did watercolor details. Will know soon if my photos were accepted for the show, but I had SO much doing the detailing that the price of admission was already well spent.

So what did you do during your summer vacation? Get out the blue-lined paper & the number 2 pencil. A perfect segue into the

Blog alternative:

214. Write about some summer. Perhaps this one that has just passed. Perhaps one from your childhood (or your second childhood...) or a summer yet to come. Write a summer you wish you'd had. Rewrite a summer that wasn't to your taste. There will be no grades, no red marginal notes, no gold stars. This is your summer, & what anyone else thinks is irrelevant.

Good morning rainshine

2011-07-25T17:19:00.000-07:00

Today we have rain

blessed

cool

water from the sky

I was ready

heat waves are not my first

(or second)

choice

I like rain & cool nights with the windows open. Good thing I live in the mountains. Of course, I like sun, too, but I do modify the old song--"always walk on the shady side of the street." Never been much for lying out in the sun. I get bored. Also hot. No, give me a nice spot of shade & perhaps a mojito. A little rainshine.

This is kinda sorta an excuse to blog, but I will not linger here. Neither should you.

Blog alternative:

213. Go window shopping. Really. Look at windows. Restaurants sometimes have nice ones. Look for old ones with cracked paint on the frames, maybe cracked glass in the frames. Stained glass. Interesting shapes. How about a window of opportunity or a window to the soul?

Kindergarten blind date

2011-07-22T06:03:00.000-07:00

what is the summer?

a not-blog zone?

do not worry, though,

about my relationship with words & pictures.

I write away.

I write to.

I write out & into.

I draw upon & out & together.

new & newish & a little bit old.

the past five years, mostly,

appropriate,

the new baby work is a big

girl/boy now,

off to school.

mother, I'd rather do it myself!

you go right ahead...

I'll do the laundry & make lunches

& be there when you want to talk.

seriously & playfully, I am getting the work together. or the work is getting me together. either way, we are having so much fun.

so, back to work.

Blog alternative:

212. Dust off an old idea. Introduce it to a new idea, or another old idea. Look at your watch & say, "omigoodness, I have to be somewhere!" Dim the lights & hit the romantic music on the way out. Imagine the ideas, laughing at your obviousity, getting ready to go off & do their own things, but deciding they might as well drink the wine you opened before you left...

Love letters to June, wherever she may be now

2011-07-03T06:39:00.000-07:00

I have successfully eluded June, or she me. Who was in hiding? Who was the stalker? Who hired a private detective & who stole her own identity & threw its ashes into the sea? June & I--

--oh, we pretended we didn't know each other, but we were carrying on a secret affair, with code words and messages left in empty wine bottles, written with invisible ink on papyrus. We rented a hotel room for thirty days & kept the do-not-disturb sign hanging, stealing fresh sheets & towels from the carts & sliding tips for the maids under the door, sneaking in & out via the service elevator. An hour or less sometimes, the proverbial quickie, & once a full week of lounging skin to skin. We met in forests & on the blank pages of journals. We sent each other crypt0-erotic emails & detailed business plans. Transactions. Intersections.

Who was Laurel & who was June? We couldn't tell each other apart. As we embraced & picnicked & sang in the (thunder)shower, so many things blossomed around us. Then, suddenly, she was gone. All that is left is the bouquet, the scent of the flowerings, the petal potpourri:

first & second place in poetry for the NCCCR Artist's & Writers Quarterly

first & second place in fiction

Roger Dutcher, the editor of the Magazine of Speculative Poetry, emailed me & asked me to send poems &, by the way, did I own the artwork on my blog & did I ever do black & white & would I be interested in doing cover art

Diane Severson Mori, who has a show called Poetry Planet on the podcast StarShip Sofa, sent me a link to her first segment, which included a poem of mine (Emily Dickinson never) & asked for more poems on time travel

got notification from Houghton Mifflin Harcourt that "egg horror poem" has re-upped for next year's 9th grade literature textbook

sent poems &/or stories to 5 or 6 magazines

wrote a bunch (can't count that high, not enough fingers & toes) of poems & a short story that may become a longer story or may stay the creepy little jewel it is now

sent off my state privilege license for "The Art of Healing" so I can officially practice my energy work

did a bunch more reorganizing on my room, including some deep paper work, some surface shining & much more--plus retained enthusiasm for the next wave & am keeping up with maintenance

re-instituted the "lifting weights most even-numbered days" plan

watched movies, played poker, took walks, drew pictures, cooked great food, felt great joy, thought great thoughts, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. (That could be enough etceteras to cover the rest of my clandestine affair with June...)

Blog alternative:

211. Sneak off & have a delicious secret affair with a day. Tell no one. (Well, you can tell me...)

Getting my own attention

2011-05-31T13:42:00.000-07:00

I had this great idea for a blog. Maybe it will re-occur to me while I am typing. Maybe it won't.

Um, did you see me just sitting there, not typing?

So, trot out the old laundry list of what I've been doing today & in recent days past. Today was pretty fun because (for the first time) I submitted entries to the NCCCR Artists & Writers Quarterly. I put in 2 stories, 2 poems & 2 photographs. You may deduce from those numbers that the maximum number of entries per category is 2. If indeed you so deduced, you are correct. I had a good time choosing (so much to choose from!) a first batch. Perhaps next time I will enter some nonfiction & artwork as well or instead. (Probably "as well" is the correct term; I can't really see myself deliberately not choosing my faves...)

While I was at the Reuter Center, I read a fascinating article entitled "The Possibilian" in the April 25, 2011, New Yorker. It's about a guy named David Eagleman, who is a quirky neuroscientist at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston. It is perhaps appropriate that I have a picture of a boy who is suspended in the sky, as far as the margins tell you, because the article opens with an anecdote (relevant) of Eagleman falling off a roof when he was 8 years old & the resulting apparent time dilation. Don't worry, the article isn't just about the mechanics of perception--you also get asp caterpillars, Emerson & Crick, rock drummers, a new religion, & how to free oneself from frivolous eating in order to work more efficiently. (Hint: raw potatoes, microwave, paper cups.) Check it out!

The universe works in strange & marvelous ways, delivering this to me a couple days after I saw a wretched movie that explored the very same life-or-death-time-dilation effect. (But don't watch The Green Hornet. Trust me on this. Read the article about David Eagleman instead.)

I just remembered my original idea!

Last week at poker, I won the grand total of $13.40. This is fun & lovely, but it is even more mindblowingly cosmically wonderful when I remembered that the week before I had lost exactly that much! I pay attention to numbers (My dad & I call each other when our odometers are about to turn over to some cool thing, like 55,555, which my mom & dad experienced within the last couple weeks.) so it was very appropriate for me to get my own attention this way. (Look, dear beautiful beloved being, I said to me, using the language of poker chips, what a powerful creator you are.) (I being the cosmic soul-ish part of me that can orchestrate such things & me being the chick enjoying her weekly poker night, winning some hands & losing some hands & getting help counting up my chips at the end) I actually enjoyed it far more than I would have if I had won $20.

This weekend was the rose show at the arboretum & I decided to go one of the days. Maybe Saturday. Got up & set the intention for roses & poker. Then Derrick really really wanted the lawn mower fixed & his truck is still in the shop so I volunteered to drive him & the lawn mower to the repair shop. Were we thinking it was likely to be closed, it being memorial day weekend? Nope. Ah, but it was. So, we drove to another shop, where my former property manager (Hi, Tom!) works which was open, but, alas, they do not work on that type of lawn mower. Told us to take it to Ace Hardware in Weaverville. Now, if someone else is all juiced up about cutting the grass, I'm all juiced up about helping them do so, & off to Weaverville we drove, where he discovered that they're 6 weeks backed up (summer's practically over by then!) & tried to tell him crazy shit about his lawn mower without even looking at it. Wasted trip? Au contraire. Some builder friends of his just happened to be there & they offered to let him use their new lawn mower, which lives less than 2 miles from the grass that desperately wanted cutting. (Hmm, did the grass want cutting? I shall have to ponder that...) Anyway, in the strangest way, we both got what we wanted that day: because Ace Hardware is right by a store called Roses. (& I did pop over to Buffalo Wild Wings & play some poker.) Sunday I checked out the rose show & smelled every single one.

I've also been having good luck with attracting (or perhaps just noticing) bluejays when I was thinking particularly wonderful thoughts.

Blog alternative:

210. Think about the sorts of things you like to notice. Songs on the radio? Numbers? License plates or bumper stickers or signs? Set an intention & see how you (that's the big Y You) deliver it to your (little y) self. You may be surprised & delighted by the method.

(your name here), this is YOUR life

2011-05-21T04:46:00.000-07:00

I don't blog for you.

I blog because I have something to say or a photograph or artwork I want to share or (ideally) both. This is my blog. This is my path. This is my walk. This is my journey. This is my life.

Don't get me wrong--sharing this with you is a lot of fun. If some of you are enjoying it, that's lovely. & if you're not enjoying it--stop reading! Do something else. Do not feel obligated to read this because you know me or someone you know told you that you would like it. If you don't like it, don't read it. Seriously.

We each have our own individual perspective. You can imagine a mile in someone else's moccasins, but any mile you walk is still your mile. (Plus, what are you doing with their moccasins anyway? Their moccasins probably don't fit you & (unless they are my son Nick) they probably need their moccasins.) (Nick is the king of barefoot.)

Yesterday we took a lovely walk, each in our own moccasins, err, hiking boots. Nice temperature, great foliage (the mountain laurels are blooming!), etcetera. We'd been carrying a philosophical conversation from one venue to another, & this path was no exception. One of the topics was happiness, & how waiting for some external thing to happen for it to be able to arrive (a different job, a bigger house, a (fill-in-the-blank)) meant that whenever (fill-in-the-blank) happened, there would still be a new (fill-in-the-blank) required. You just had to get happy here. You just had to get happy now. Pre(fill-in-the-blank). As we were leaving the walk, we loaded up the conversation into the Nissan Cube (cute car!) that the dealer lent Derrick because his truck has been in there since (practically) the Cube was invented, & set off for home.

Only to stop so Derrick could buy a pair of Carharts to replace the ripped pair he was wearing & I could buy me a cool Columbia shirt to replace the shirt I was wearing. It's my favorite summer traveling shirt, since it has a collar which keeps the seatbelt from rubbing my neck & woven rather knit & lightweight--& Carol Fosdick gave it to me years & years ago when she cleaned it out of her closet & the fabric has begun to disintegrate from overuse...

Only to stop again to eat at this (used to be Chinese & now is Japanese, with brand new decor & a TON of waitstaff) buffet. As we sat down, I made my totally brilliant statement for the day, distilling the entire philosophical conversation into one bite-sized unit:

If you aren't happy hungry, you're not going to be happy when you're full.

In other words, enjoy the creation of appetite. Enjoy all the other ways you're getting fed--through your other senses, through your thoughts & feelings. Enjoy knowing that hunger passes &--thankfully--so does satiation. How boring it would be to never want, or anticipate, or desire a meal, or anything else. Ahh, hunger. Ya gotta love it.

(We shall not be going back to that buffet, by the way. The food was okay, but more expensive than it used to be, not too surprising, given the decor & extensive waitstaff, & our waiter was extremely ingratiating, shaking both of our hands not once, but twice, & smiling super super widely. Then when he got the signed check, he instantly looked at it to see how well he'd been tipped (it's a buffet--he brought us iced tea & carried away 2 plates & we gave him 10 percent) & then gave us a pointedly lukewarm "thanks for coming" as we left.)

Blog alternative:

209. Think about the things you do for other people. If there are any that you are not doing for you as well, can you revise them so they serve you? If not, consider not doing them...

Fruit seeking Vegetable for friendship or romance

2011-05-18T17:21:00.000-07:00

The king of all colors

offers a heart of gold

Just a quickie tonight. Wanted to post another picture, this one done with the virtual crayons. It's supposed to warm up tomorrow, back into the 70s, which will be welcome. We've had 3 days of chilly--even snow in the mountains. The gardens aren't exactly happy, but it has not frozen.

I am not a gardener, at this moment, but I sometimes hang out with people who are. & I like to eat vegetables & fruits. As a matter of fact, I had both, together, for supper, in the form of a grilled (okay, so I cheated & sauteed, it being chilly) strawberry & asparagus salad, with vinaigrette & chevre. Now aren't I fancy dancy!

Blog alternative:

208. Marry up a fruit & a vegetable. The aforementioned strawberries with asparagus is recommended (tomorrow I will add tomato & avocado to them) but how about kumquats & zucchini? If you come up with any fab recipes, I'd love to hear them. (& I'm going to add some of the free range organic boneless skinless chicken thighs I baked to my salad as well.)

Muck Boots Spokesmodel

2011-05-17T14:43:00.000-07:00

a new picture, just for today

Yesterday they announced the 5 regional winners for Farm Mom of the Year. My sister's name was not among them, which I think must be remedied. So here, for all to see, (or at least the portion of all that reads my blog) is that which I wrote for my sister & emailed in to the contest. (I used to--& still do--call my sister Tracey Leaf. Much more fun than Lee...)

Muck Boots Spokesmodel

Tracey Leaf. Strong belief. Farmer's wife. Loves the life. Common sense. Can fix a fence. Swather. Baler. Pony tail-er. Prom dress fixer. Silage mixer. Recipes. Remedies. Sweet corn to freeze. Loving passion. Thrifty fashion. Good with numbers—also lumber. Build-a-shelf do-it-herself trash-to-treasure decorator. With-what-she's-got innovator. Irrigation. No vacation. Midnight calving. Boo boo salving. Change a tire. Light a fire. Teaches manners. Knows what matters. Good with money. Smart and funny. Help-meet. Sugar beet. Rogueing wheat. Good advice-er. No one's nicer. Ready smile. Extra mile. Blizzard, flood, drought or hail--she outperforms the U.S. mail. Brought a bucket calf and the milk cow, Flo, to school on Ag day just for show. Bum lamb to Bible school; kids thought that was cool. The class in anatomy and physiology came to see cows tested for pregnancy. Took town kids to get their own pigs and hauled them all to the fair when the pigs were big. Always in the kitchen for an FFA shindig. When out-of -town teams come to play ball, her quadruple baked spaghetti feeds them all. City cousins to the farm. Turn them on to country charm. Gave the ditch rider rides to the local VA (only 90 miles away) and cleaned up his house when he passed away. Taught chores to the boy who gave her daughter a ring and hosted an exchange student from Beijing. Doesn't whine. Makes life shine. Knows what to say. Knows how to pray. Makes time for fun, 'cuz work's never done. Cajoles. Consoles. Casseroles. Rolls with punches. Fixes lunches. Handles gritty. Cleans up pretty. Strong and sweet and wise and sure. Raising daughters fine as her.

Blog alternative:

207. Write an appreciation for someone, 300 words or less. Extra credit if you make it rhyme. (I also had to put in things like: educates consumers about agriculture & how she supports local ag organizations--I won't require that of you. grin.)

Into the wild blue yonder...

2011-05-16T08:04:00.000-07:00

who the heck am I? someone even more wonderful & authentic & autonomous & creative & independent than I have been practicing believing. someone who is supported by the boundless universe. someone who lives in her own body but is not bounded by it. someone who is grounded & winged. someone who requires nothing of others & relaxes into the best of her. someone who sees the best of others. someone who be's. someone who is. someone who Is. someone who marries up with her inner self. someone who can feel it all coming together in the nexus of her own universe. someone who is okay with being wherever she is, knowing that there is bettering available. someone who trusts. someone who trues. someone who centers. someone who knows. someone who traffics in peace. someone who redesigns. someone who surrenders to the greater who of who she is. someone who loves. someone who breathes in & out fully. someone who creates. someone who is. someone who can be. someone who evolves. someone who eases into the next room for improvement. someone who is already perfect. someone who is now. someone who is comfortable with contradiction. someone who embraces paradox. someone who is graceful in her becoming. someone who opens to the everpouring. someone who blesses & is blessed. someone who is willing to receive. someone with open hands & heart. someone who can find herself whenever she turns away. someone with ease. someone who can rest. someone who relaxes into her next moment. someone who loves herself. someone who understands what loving really is. someone who expects the best. someone who understands she doesn't have to do it all. someone who is willing to have it all. someone who joys. someone who plays. someone who works. someone who knows what the true work is. someone who practices. someone who sings. someone who is learning. someone who knows the power of the moment. someone who lives here now. someone who knows what the past is for. someone who stands firmly on the ground of who she has already been. someone who dreams. someone who desires. someone who wakens to each day as if it is the jewel. someone who will not quit. someone who knows when to let go. someone who lets things flow through her hands & her heart & her life, enjoying & fondling & appreciating & loving without grasping. someone who is.

(just wrote this in 750words.com & I offer it to you unedited, along with another picture I did yesterday on the nook color)

Blog alternative:

206. Who are you? Explore the topic. (Remember, you don't have to share it with anyone. Be real. Open yourself to the possibility that you are already more than you are currently expressing. Who is that you?)

lazy daisy puddin' & pi

2011-05-15T16:42:00.001-07:00

another fun something

from my nook color

Today has been quite the busy lazy combo.

Got a lot done, including above picture.

General feeling, though,

lazy daisy puddin' & pi.

So I adieu you.

Blog alternative:

205. Be lazy.

Triskadekafilly: the triple crown winner

2011-05-13T12:54:00.000-07:00

Friday the thirteenth!

It's my lucky day.

Well, one of my lucky days.

(The others are yesterday, today & tomorrow...)

I don't always recognize the luck when it is happening,

but later -- usually on the soonerish side of later --

I can see it.

It has been my experience that any luck I've ever had

-- even if it seemed bad --

had a silver-lined cloak.

Someone I couldn't get ahold of?

Opportunity to make a decision on my own.

Something that wasn't available?

Opportunity to come up with another

-- sometimes better -- alternative.

Woe?

Whoa -- I can feel a little better than that.

(Eventually. Grin. You don't have to

-- & sometimes cannot --

rush out of the state of woe,

but you don't have to live there forever.)

Someone you can't count on for (fill-in-the-blank)?

Awesome.

Great time to learn that you can count on yourself

& the energy that creates worlds

& the fabulous universe.

Let everyone else off the hook.

Bad luck is just a myth in an old Hee Haw skit.

You can claim it if you want,

but I don't recommend it.

Blog alternative:

204. Relabel some luck, whether recent or ancient. What did it get you? (You might have to get creative, but I guarantee there's something silver there.)

a piece of cardboard invited the stars to dance

2011-04-26T18:44:00.000-07:00

so here's the cool new thing

tiffany's nook color

& an awesome app.

zach gave it to her

for her birthday

& she let me play with it.

hmmm.

might have to have me

one of those....

Blog alternative:

203. invite the stars to dance with your cardboard. or maybe use a marker.

moments, like fish

2011-04-26T18:17:00.000-07:00

what swims like fish beneath the sea of each moment?

So there I was, ready to get ready to leave & it occurred to me:

easter weekend

minnesota

that could only mean one thing:

minicon.

so I went up to the sheraton bloomington & saw my peeps (& some actual peeps) & it was good.

also got to participate in the lady poetesses from hell reading, which went very well, from all accounts. so lovely to read my own poems & hear the poems of the other poetesses. (not all of whom are gendered feminine.)

so now what?

I was thinking about leaving tomorrow, but there are tornadoes in the way, so perhaps friday & saturday are good travel days. we shall see. in the mean time (or should I say "in the nice time") I will be here now, wherever here is.

& so

Blog alternative:

202. change a plan. plan a change.

the electramagnetic complex

2011-04-20T06:34:00.000-07:00

having way too much fun

tracing my own hand

I do it again...

I noticed a typo in my blog alternative yesterday & it was too juicy & delicious to change. Electramagnetic spectrum. (That means you might kinda sorta have an electra complex, but whoever it is you're attracted to, be it father or father figure, it's pretty magnetic.)

Our 6 to 8 inches of snow yesterday pretty much melted into the ground as it fell. That means our girls' poker night is still on. Years ago I had my heart set on a 54 inch round pedestal table, reasoning--correctly--that 54 inches is the absolute best size for cards. With a 60 inch it's hard to reach the middle to rake in cards, if you take a trick in pinochle, or a pot, if you win one in poker. With a 48 inch, you can't seat enough peeps. Pedestal because then no one is bumping knees on table legs. Then, voila, cold frozy day in Minneapolis & my poetry buds & I were early to something & walking around a block & the only thing open was an antique/consignment store. 54 inch round pedestal table just waiting for me. & now Tiffany, daughter-in-law-to-be, likes to play hold 'em & doesn't get an opportunity to do so very often, so my poker buddies & her poker buddy are coming over. Zach will hang out in the garage...

Another event for today is a trip to the Crossings Gallery in Zumbrota to see the poet/artist collaboration show, always one of my favorites.

Blog alternative:

201. Venture into an art gallery. Write a poem about one of the paintings.

No one here but us brainwaves: nothing to read here. move along. move along.

2011-04-19T10:01:00.000-07:00

when you put your hand up

the stars reach for themselves

reborn as flesh

I have blogged so much over the last few years. You just wouldn't be able to keep up with it. Literally. Or, rather, fictively. Imaginally. Brain-wavery. This is to say that I keep coming up with topics to blog about & even phrases, sentence, paragraphs, as I'm driving, walking, eating, etcetera-ing. Be glad you don't have to read all that!

Blogging about blogging means I have reached a new low, given that I am a bit of an anti-blogger. Groan. Grin. Bear it. My biggest consolation in all this is that, since I blog (in a form that you can access) so infrequently that you are more likely to be doing some of the things I consider "real life" (as expounded in my blog alternatives) like building a little (or big) snowbeing, or walking a dog or writing an essay about your sister that she may be considered for the title "farm wife of america."

It is snowing in Rochester, Minnesota. My son Zach is studying & doing homework. Tiffany is bustling around emptying the garbage. Quote for the day, as she re-entered the house. "How craptastik is it out there. Jeez." Later in the week we will hardboil a dozen eggs & decorate them. Maybe two dozen. I will dedicated mine to "egg horror poem" which has garnered me well over a thousand dollars so far. maybe two thousand.

I am coming up (friday) on my 52nd birthday. Finally, I will be a full deck!

Blog alternative:

200. ding ding ding, you win! Consider everything that you win just by being here as this starstuff: air to breathe. horizons. the energy of the sun, feeding you & the planet & everything between & beyond so much energy we shade ourselves from it. water. tequila. the ability to create anything you want inside your mind. dog tails wagging. the difference between silence & sound. the electramagnetic spectrum.

A day well seized: celebration in hand-me-downs

2011-04-11T14:33:00.000-07:00

dancing with the sun and sky

earth heart smiling

I wrote some poems at my cousin's concert at the Alberta Bair Theater in Billings, Montana. (Yes, I am still in Montana, where my dad is recovering from his third surgery.) (Third? you ask, quizzically, thinking--correctly--that he has but 2 carotid arteries. More on that later...) Meanwhile, back at the poem. My cousin Korine Fujiwara is a founding member of the Carpe Diem String Quartet, & omigosh, a concert with them is a day well seized. Korine has composed "Montana," which is so amazing. (Check them out on youtube. Anyway, here is a poem I wrote near the beginning of the concert. (The concert (& the newly-renamed Grandmaster Karlo Fujiwara Memorial Taekwondo Tournament) were dedicated to her father (my uncle) who died last summer.)

I Swear

I will get my cello strung & tuned

& learn to play at least one song

I will hug my father extra tight

when next I see him

(avoiding his neck, which is sore)

I will perform the music of my heart

which is peace & love & joy incarnate

I will go home

right now

a one-inch journey

to the center of my heart

I will melt into the music

of this moment

So, how do you have 3 surgeries when you only have 2 carotid arteries? Swell up like crazy one day & confuse the doctors & (after 4 days of not getting better quickly or consistently enough) have them reopen the incision to discover a big old hematoma that would have dissolved in 8 or 9 months on its own but in the meantime was painful & causing a deviated trachea & ear pain & such. He seems to be doing better & should be out of the hospital soon. About time--at the cafeteria today the cashier asked if I worked there since she'd seen me so often for so long. Dad & my cousin Aeron beat Mom & I twice in a row at 4-handed cribbage. We told the doctors he really didn't need extra blood flow to his brain...

I did a really good job of packing for this trip, which means I have worn everything I brought--even 2 long dresses, blue & green, which I wear as a reversible other-color-peeking-out-from-under duo--numerous times & I'm not sick of any of my clothes yet. I did get some hand-me-down jeans from my mom, & a shiny ruffly teal shirt & a pair of black sweatpants from my (R.I.P.) Great-aunt Lila, & 3 undershirts from (R.I.P.) Grandma Arla. Wardrobed!

Blog alternative:

199. Swear. &--after you're done with the profanity--swear to (fill-in-the-blank). Above poem may be used for exampling.

Carotid clippings

2011-03-30T13:56:00.000-07:00

News from the waiting room.

My daddy is out of his surgery & looking good. Of course, after getting a carotid artery clipped & reamed out & reattached & having various tubes in arteries & throats (okay, one throat) & such, he's not extremely comfortable, but, hey--he's breathing & talking & able to wiggle everything the doctor thought he oughta be able to. Yay! His first incision has practically disappeared already in 3 weeks (my brother says he has miraculous healing properties) so we expect much the same.

Okay, so now I'm going to hand my computer back to my cousin's daughter, Samadhi. She's art-ing.

Blog alternative:

198. Samadhi suggests going to a waterpark. It may or may not be the weather for that, depending on where you live, so maybe just take a bath. Or drink a tall glass of water (I like mine without ice) with a sprig of mint or a splash of lime.

My peeps...

2011-03-25T13:36:00.000-07:00

So here I am, in Montana again. 'tis been a while since I've posted. January. Good grief, as Charlie Brown would say. Perhaps 750words.com is a good thing, but I do know there have been times I would have blogged had I not been doing that. Oh, well.

Why Montana, you ask? (Didn't know I could hear you, did you?) Well, I was going to be taking off on Sunday the sixth of March for Rochester, Minnesota, to take a SMART class (Stress Management & Resiliency Training, taught by Amit Sood, Md, head of complementary & integrative medicine at the Mayo Clinic, in case you're looking to enroll in same) when I got news from my parents that my dad had found out (at a Lifeline screening, which was not typically the sort of thing they'd opt for) that his carotid arteries (both of them) were 95% or so blocked & he was on his way to the emergency room.

I printed out the novel I was ready to send out (cross your fingers for The Secret Life of Suzuki England) & took off for Montana instead. 1044 miles the first day. 900plus the second. A new 2 day record. (My 1 day record is Memphis to Albuquerque, which is 1142, but the following day I only had to get as far as Phoenix.) He had the first surgery 3 weeks ago & is out with my mom delivering seed corn today. Second surgery scheduled for tomorrow. Complicated & dangerous but, hey, the first one was too & he did great with that. Definitely cross your fingers for my daddy...

After the first surgery, the vascular surgeon asked my mom to gather her peeps (not his words) in the small waiting room so he could report to us, as the entire surgery waiting room was full. She said everyone was here for my dad. "Is there anyone not here for John Hjelvik?" he asked. Not a single hand was raised. At the followup appointment he asked my dad if his support team was coming again & said he'd seen the waiting room full (30 or 40 people) but it was usually 10 families... My dad is well loved & he deserves every bit of it. (& my mom as well, I should say.)

I've played a bunch of cards, helped sort new baby calves & their mamas from the mamas-to-be in muddy corrals with my sister & her husband, visited with my ex-inlaws, helped mom move a bunch of my (r.i.p.) great aunt Lila's clothes out of a closet & on to Goodwill, where I hope someone will get some good use out of them. Sundry & various other things. Now I'm about ready to be home, after this surgery & a visit to my son & his fiancee & a bunch of friends in Minnesota. Funny, how you can be just fine with being away from home & some little internal switch toggles & you're ready to be back yesterday. It has been a really wonderful time with my folks. I can hardly imagine anyone having more fun with their parents than I just did, for several weeks & lots of hours.

Blog alternative:

197. Consider the mortality of someone you love deeply. Get as okay with it as you can. Consider that we all go out feet first & our job (until we're the ones feet-firsting-it) is to continue living & loving.

little winter flower grass seeks lightning bug for illuminating conversation

2011-01-19T09:10:00.000-08:00

little winter flower grass

stillwater river gorge

nye, montana

christmas day

I am sitting in a comfy chair in the window at Barnes & Noble. I finished my 750words & drank a green tea latte with whipped cream (the extra super giant size, whatever starbucks italian is for that. grin) & now I am writing to you.

My scottevest GoTo jacket is sitting in another comfy chair. Actually, it is rather sleepily reclining on this rainy day. My umbrella is at my feet, at the ready, bored by the dry weather in here. Someone asked if the chair was available & I said no. Not for scottevest's sake, but my friend Elizabeth will join me soon. My scottevest is just saving the seat for her. (But don't worry, scottevest, I will let you drape gracefully on the back of my chair when she arrives.) [a postscript to this section of the post: the woman who asked if my chair was available rather crankily (but kudos to her for asking for what she wanted) questioned whether the chair was actually being used. "It's been half an hour!" When I explained that my friend was indeed coming she said it wasn't fair to "hog the chair." I told her I wanted it back when my friend arrived & asked if she would like it. She said (even more snippily) "Yes, I would." So I gave it to her, with the caveat that I got it back when my friend arrived. grin.]

Did I tell you I got carded in Corydon, Indiana, on my way to Montana? That was fun. I can't even say it was just because they card everyone, because another table ordered alcohol after I did, & they didn't get carded.

Five days until the end of the two-faced month: forward & backward, outward & inward, past & future, present & accounting, now & zero, ephemera & infinite, etcetera & whatever is the opposite of etcetera.

I've been straightening up my space lately, both exterior & interior. Not a resolution but the next logical step. That reminds me that I usually write a letter to myself about the year just past & the year to come & here it is 26 days into the year to come & the letter is still in the mail. (or, perhaps more appropriately, in the female. I believe Mark Twain would agree that that is the lightning, rather than the lightning bug.)

I shall bid you ah-be, rather than ah-do, or even adieu.

Blog alternative:

196. Take 3 unrelated books that interest you (rather than 3 books on the same topic) & come up with an exercise that relates them--& you.

(Currently I have Train Your Brain Engage Your Heart Transform Your Life: A Two Step Program to Enhance Attention; Decrease Stress; Cultivate Peace, Joy and Resilience, and Practice Presence with Love by Amit Sood, MD MSc & Architectural Drawing Course: Tools and Techniques for 2D and 3D representation by Mo Zell & A Guide to Small Business Management by Hollingsworth & Hand)

Iowa didn't lie...

2011-01-15T19:27:00.000-08:00

the chaos that is dogs

(title by Tiffany)

This little swirl is Mac & Cheese. Zach & Tiffany, my son & his fiancee, belong to these dogs. I recently belonged to them too, for one week. I did have good job security as a doggie pillow. The benefits were unique: besides a nice warm lap &/or legs &/or shoulders, I had my fingers licked clean, kind of an automated finger bowl. Cheese would have licked my mouth too, but I declined that particular "benefit."

I left Rochester this afternoon after a lovely visit with Zach. Tiffany was up at her apprenticeship training, but I got to hang with her yesterday. Zach & I went to breakfast at Cheap Charlie's, always a splendid thing. Trinh (could be spelling that wrong) practically picked me up when she saw me. I had the grilled ham & cheese with extra pickles! I had a couple bites of Zach's chicken noodle soup & he has some of my fries.

I won't bore you with everything I've eaten since I last posted, because that would include my entire Montana/Minnesota vacation. Suffice it to say that foods were eaten & drinks were drinked. Grin.

Highlights, in nonchronological order: Getting stuck for an extra day in Sioux Falls, South Dakota (the roads around Mitchell were nasty) & Jamestown, North Dakota. In Jamestown I had coffee at Babb's with my friend Debbie's daughter-in-law & hung at the public library, reading E=Einstein & some pop-quantum-physics. Hanging with many relatives & friends. Playing poker on Christmas day. Put in $5 & came out with $12! (Some baby games like 7 card no peek, but also a bunch of 7 card stud, sometimes with variations like roll your own little chicago & some texas hold 'em.) Sit down Christmas dinner for 22. Seeing Nick & his girlfriend Chloe for the second time in a month! Playing pitch with my parents. Playing pinochle with my parents & Nick &/or Chloe. I got both 1000 aces & 1500 trump while playing as my mom's partner & Nick & my dad finished off the pinochle games with 800 kings.

I came down south of Rochester on highway 63 through Waterloo, Iowa. Zach was very skeptical of my route, since that's a 2 lane road with usually lots of trucks, but 90 through Wisconsin was reporting snow & slick stuff & Iowa said, come on down, the roads are fine. Zach darkly suggested Iowa was lying, but his cynicism was not warranted. Fabulous roads. I made 348 miles (even though I did not leave until 2--& even got my tires checked & gas after that.) All the way to Hannibal, Missouri, boyhood home of Mark Twain.

The other fun thing was seeing the temperature go up up up as I drove into the winter night. Started off at 11 degrees & it was 22 by the time I reached Hannibal, some 6 or so hours later.

Blog alternative:

195. Provide a lap for a dog. Or a cat. Or a baby. Or just sit & hold your own inner child for a little while. Maybe tell a story. Maybe sing a lullabye.

Angels' albino dust bunnies play pinochle

2010-12-12T06:13:00.000-08:00

Nick doing dishes

We have four inches of--something.

Derrick says it's vanilla ice cream. I said, "no, it's, it's--" whereupon our young friend Marshawn said, "soap!"

I think it's likely that the angels have been sweeping out from under their beds & off the porch steps & we've been showered with four inches of the angels' albino dust bunnies. Whatever it is, it's beautiful. Perhaps I'll go out later & make an angels' albino dust bunnies angel.

I guess I didn't talk to you in November. What a good month. My son Nick & his girlfriend Chloe came for varying portions of the Thanksgiving week. (Chloe just for 3&1/2 days; Nick for twice that.)

We had the perfect turkey day dinner. Cooked a turkey. Cut one piece off to test it. Played pinochle. Decided to go for a walk at the Arboretum. Covered the turkey with foil & shoved it in the fridge. Walked while doing various sorts of work. (Derrick was steadily writing philosophix on a sticky note pad. Nick was lifting heavy objects to make it a real workout: large logs; rocks; at one point, on a steep uphill part of the trail, me. I was taking pictures of them, except during the part when I was being carried uphill.) Then we came home & ripped some turkey off the the carcass with our bare hands. Chloe arrived the next day & she & Nick finished divesting the carcass of its flesh--one container of dark meat & another of white--so I could boil it into soup stock later. I'm so sad I cut that one piece, otherwise it would have been all finger food. Mano a birdo. Next year!

Nick helped me teach people to play pinochle, which was so fun! Jonathan & I beat Nick & Derrick. Chloe & I beat Nick & Derrick. (A couple times.) Did Nick & Derrick care? Not a bit. Nick just loves to play & Derrick was happy to be picking up on the nuances. He has turned into quite the pinochle monster. Grrrrr.

Nick turned me on to this website called 750words.com which is like morning pages (The Artist's Way) online, so I've been doing that. Lots of fun, except when it's not. Grin. I'm being honest. There was one day when I was writing that I didn't think this sort of journally writing was good for me & voila, in the midst of doing that very thing I got clearer on something. So I continue. The writing is never seen by anyone but the writer & you get points for making 750 words & for maintaining "streaks." I will blow my streak in Montana, because I won't have internet up at Nye, but I'll do the 750 words anyway, on my word processing program. & Nick will do it with me when he's there!

Zach & Tiffany won't be making it to Montana for Christmas but I will see them in Minnesota when I drive back. I'm looking forward to that. Tiff & Zach & Mac & Cheese. What fun!

Okay, I'm ready to be doing something other than blogging, so here it is, what you've been (hopefully not) waiting for, your:

Blog alternative:

194. Figure out how to make a big bubble in your hands while doing dishes.

Leaf peepers, the eleventh plague...

2010-10-20T10:45:00.000-07:00

the fabric of spacetime, found in a coffeeshop

The good news is

I found my summer clothes.

The bad news is

it's October.

The good news is

it's October

& the leaves are being peeped with great delight,

with highs in the 70s & lows in the 40s.

The good news is

I found my winter clothes.

The good news is

there is no bad news.

Blog alternative:

193. Consider that you make your own news. Make some good news out of whatever olds happen to be around.

Hot-wired peach guava eudemonics

2010-10-09T07:17:00.001-07:00

I took someone's old red car for a spin...

Last time I mentioned that I was about to enter the end of E, & that--by the time I reached the beginning of A--it would be the first time I'd looked at every page in my dictionary. How fitting that I would mention that before delving into E, because way back when I looked at every E-word & wrote bunches of them down for my then-husband because he'd written a program--unused now at IBM, so I'm cleared to release this information--called ELAPS & he wanted a good E word to start of the name. IBM just LOVES acronyms. I can't remember if Bruce had already decided on Eclectic Logical Analysis Processing System, but he put a bunch of the other E words on the announcement of little baby ELAPS's birth. (Including "egregious." Let it never be said that IBMers lack a sense of humor. One of them, at least, has a very good one.)

I did go through E again & wrote down a few strange & lovely words for your edification.

eutaxy: (rare) good & fitting order or arrangement

euplastic: healing readily

eudemonics: the art or theory of happiness

May you have eutaxy in all things & be well-versed in eudemonics &--should occasion rise that you are injured or unwell--may you be euplastic.

I just purchased a bunch of colored pencils & pastels & various papers & paint brushes & some strange antiquing paste from an art supply store that is going out of business. It was my second trip there, after hearing about it from a barista who is also an artist. I purchased a few strange things to try out at a deep discount. Who knows where it will lead? Stay tuned. No, don't stay tuned--tune into your own adventure.

I am experiencing an increasing state of eutaxy, &--to celebrate--I shall drink some Odwalla peach guava smoothie with coconut juice & take a nap.

Blog alternative:

192. Take someone's car for a spin. Or their motorcycle. Or their trike. Or their RV rollerblades figure skates wheel chair dune buggy etcetera. Hotwire your imagination, rather than the vehicle. You can even take off in a police car that way, & no one will be after you.

(I know, their does not grammatically work with someONE's & there is no punctuation in that list. I did it that way on purpose. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I just wanted my juice & the commas would have slowed me down...)

Perusing pixels & paper play

2010-10-04T04:58:00.000-07:00

Shadow, Panel Lift, Shoes

As promised, (part of) the nifty keen panel lift. With bonus shadow. No additional calories. Easy to pack. Take one with you everywhere. Except midnight. Okay, midnight at Reykjavik you could probably get a shadow. Or anywhere there's a streetlight. Grin.

I lied to you last night. Instead of perusing the dictionary, I watched Mel Gibson in What Women Want. Amazing all the things I didn't know I wanted. Grin again.

So the dictionary is still enticing me. I used an E word since that's where I'm dipping my toe in. I could have said entering since that starts with E, but metaphor is more exciting. (There, I got them both.)

I also have to practice a monologue for my acting class. Send out some poetry. Pay the electric bill. Walk. There's a stack of papers with my name on it. But not a big one. I've been better & better at paper play.

Blog alternative:

191. Pick up a paper. Just one. Feel its crispness or crumpled-ness or limpness. Appreciate what it stands for, even if it's a bill. Think about what it means: heat? electricity for when it's dark & you'd rather read than sleep (or would like to see Mel Gibson's pixels dancing on flat glass)? a good meal? toilet paper? After you're done appreciating it, file it or recycle it or toss it in the fire. Repeat. A few times. (Remember the appreciate part.)

Brought to you by the letters Z through F

2010-10-03T17:34:00.001-07:00

Self Portrait in Tea Pot

We have a ceiling! Yay! Soon you will see photos of the nifty keen panel lift, but I could not resist the tea pot.

I am going to close now & read the dictionary for a while. (my beautiful 1973 American Heritage Dictionary that I won for getting 3rd place in the Montana state spelling bee when I was in 8th grade) I have a picture book project & am going through the dictionary backwards. I'm about to start with the end of E. So many fine words. I think this will be the first time I've looked at every page...

Blog alternative:

190. Look into a dictionary, just for fun. Open it at random or pick a favorite word or a favorite letter. (Do I have a favorite letter? hmmm, will have to think about it.)

Back by popular demand: hot pink & her buddies, lime green & purple

2010-09-29T19:41:00.001-07:00

fresh clean bedding

When I was a kid, the extra supercool colors were hot pink & lime green, or hot pink & purple. We (girls anyway) wanted everything to be one of those 2 color combinations. You can see by this twirly shot of my laundry that my inner teenager is alive & well.

The electrician has been banging away--we're converting a former tool storage room into an art studio/meditation space/hang-out. It's a fun process & involves a cute little glass block window.

Somehow, in the last couple of days, it has turned into fall. How does that happen? In a few days, my children will be a quarter of a century old. How does that happen? I wonder what their equivalent of hot pink & purple/lime green will be.

After my class this afternoon (Journey Dance) I had another visit with some interesting people who came here from Minnesota. Last week I met the man, doing sudoku while I was reading a magazine article on the rise of women in just about everything. I told him I was from Montana & he asked if I'd ever heard of the Stillwater River. I told him I grew up spitting distance from it (a slight exaggeration, perhaps, but I could see it from the kitchen window) & he said a few years ago he was buying groceries in the one store in some town that started with A... (Milligan's IGA in Absarokee, where I went to high school.) How does that happen?

Blog alternative:

189. Think about some favorite things from your past. How are they showing up now, if they are?

Flirting with the most adorable little backhoe

2010-09-29T06:29:00.000-07:00

Hold the handrail...

This resolution to put one photo per blog may cause my brain to explode. I've take nearly 6000 pictures since I got my camera. A bunch of those are deleted before the camera & the computer hook up, but still...

The decisions! A shadow picture? One of the cool bench pictures? More flowers? Bicycles? (Parked bicycles make particularly wonderful twirly photos, as you will see in a future post, I'm sure.) Heavy equipment? (Since my daddy was (& still is, although not as primary occupation anymore) a heavy equipment operator, I have a fond place in my heart for the big machines. Also for the little machines that look like the big machines. I was driving along Chestnut Street a few weeks ago & a couple guys were blocking the road for a while--backhoe issues. Some of the people behind me turned around & went on a different street, but I waited, not just patiently but deliciously. When they'd finally done what they needed to do & got out of the way, I pulled up beside them & rolled down my window. They probably expected a pissed-off-motorist-diatribe, instead I said, "That is the most adorable little backhoe!" They laughed & laughed & off I drove.)

Blog alternative:

188. While you are waiting--a red light, someone slowly crossing a street, a left-turner ahead of you--find something to enjoy. Appreciate the opportunity.

At the hub of the universe, I got out my tools

2010-09-26T16:15:00.000-07:00

hand at the hub of the universe

Rain is falling, gently.

I have learned about creating natural gas in a 55-gallon drum & various other energy things. I have learned some mixed media collaging techniques & created 2 collages. I have walked & taken photographs & tidied up my personal universe a bit. Oh, & done laundry & written poetry & planned a syllabus for a future class & studied expressive arts & acting & journey dance. Sudoku & conversation & grocery shopping. A busy week with plenty of quiet & contemplative mixed in. Played cards. Watched a movie or two. Office-y stuff. Dishes. Refrigerator rearranging.

Blog alternative:

187. Lie down on the floor & close your eyes & imagine your heart expanding past the confines of your body.

Chaos invited the trees to the poker game

2010-09-20T14:06:00.000-07:00

Elizabeth greeted the tree

I greet you with the same delight.

This photo (& several thousand siblings) was taken in the North Carolina Landscape Arboretum, which was designed by Frederick Law Olmsted. I lived in Olmsted County in Minnesota for 24 years, named for the aforesaid Fred & my initials are LAW, so I'm pleased at all the little connections.

Tomorrow I begin 2 new classes at the Reuter Center. (Supposedly the North Carolina Center for Creative Retirement, but I like to think of the last 2 words as "Continual ReCreation.") One is called Creativity, Chaos & Consciousness (the necessary supplies are oil pastels & a big blank sketchbook) & the other is Acting Up & Acting Out, which is (surprise) theatric in nature. I am looking forward to them a great deal.

At my semi-regular poker game last Thursday I won 10 cents. Lost my initial $20 on trip nines vs. my pocket aces but built back up in the second half of the evening. I'm still the big winner so far, having taken home an extra $37 the first night & $11 the second. You can see we're a low-stakes, friendly game. But we still like to win. Grin.

Blog alternative:

186. Touch a tree. Deliberately. Lovingly. Wonderingly.

Re-inventing Geometry: One point at a time

2010-09-14T07:41:00.000-07:00

Wood Rose

Two points!

I have a line.

Also a confession: I'm blogging because I wanted to post another photo. I'm allowing myself only one photo per blog, to help inspire me. This is the end of a wood pile. (Not all my photos are of flowers, real or created, as you will see in blogs yet to be.)

This will be a short entry because I am about to exchange some movies at the video store. It's a ways & I am going to walk out into the beautiful day & the beautiful world (even if it is a busy-ish road-ish portion of said world) & accomplish errands, exercise & enjoyment. I will let the moment wear many hats.

Blog alternative:

185. Walk somewhere you don't normally walk to accomplish something you want to accomplish. Fait accompli (with feet)

plus, today's quote from Peggy Tabor Millin's clarityworksonline.com

(which you can get 5 days a week by signing up for the writing prompts)

is a Nigerian proverb

"Someone else's legs do you no good in traveling."

Outside Forces vs. the Slacker Babe

2010-09-13T10:17:00.000-07:00

Sunflower Flowing

A Blog at rest tends to stay at rest, unless acted on by an outside force.

A Blog in motion--well, we'll see. I don't know if one post qualifies as motion. It takes 2 points to make a line after all.

So, outside forces, I salute you.

First, Ken, for checking on me during a perfectly sunny week on a trumped up hurricane worry excuse just 'cuz I hadn't blogged since March. It's only--ahh--September--hmmm--oops.

Second, Cathy who accepted my challenge to blog by Monday. She also hasn't blogged since March, although her March ended in 2009. (She just did that to make me feel like less of a slacker babe.) If anyone wants to see if she ponied up, or pigeoned up, check out YayPigeons.

I have been having a great deal of fun with my new camera, a Nikon CoolPix that is very easy to use. Playing around with image manipulation just by moving the camera and then deleting A LOT of bad photos--because they weren't blurry enough. Grin. I suppose my "Sunflower Flowing" picture would be better if I rotated it so the stem blur was on the bottom, but I got a little lazy. Hey, you can't reform a blogger slacker babe in one fell swoop, can you? (Apparently not.)

Oh, but my room is looking so clean & organized & the parts that are not yet dealt with are set up so they'll be easier to deal with. Part of my new organizational system, which started with me writing everything I wanted in a system 0n a giant lime green sticky note. Then I posted it on the wall beside my bed & just read it every time I noticed the giant lime green sticky note. Then I realized that the system was already created & just waiting for me to utilize it. Then, suddenly, one day I began to move things around & recycle magazines & do more creative projects & VOILA!

In random order, here are my system desires:

success.full growing natural peaceful genius self.organizing virtuous* essential organic logical loving vital vibrant magic s elf.sustaining true easy reflective mutating cosmic intelligent gnosis based on me rational invisible independent healthy supported true intuitive still wholistic feels good instinctual self.directed simple apt transferable sensible self.centering appropriate energetic fueled intellectual succulent focused in.sourced dynamic fit

*before you get too excited--in a good way or a bad way--about this, consider that at the etymological level, virtue means sap, as in liquid life force. So I probably should have just said "sappy" but that would require the same sort of explanation.

I am really not claiming the title of slacker babe at all. So I haven't been blogging. Plenty of other things (inside & outside of my skin) have been & continue to be accomplished. (For example, exploration of the passive voice. Grin.)

I trust that you have all been doing many things other than reading the Ides of March version of my blog over & over again, yet I feel compelled to give the latest version of the Blog Alternative, so here it is, the long-awaited number

184. Think about the descriptive characteristics of your desired organizational system. Not the number of sticky notes required or the actual time it takes to operate in any given week, but some abstract, feeling-y things. See if your list is substantially different than mine.

Wonder-fully-foolio

2010-03-15T09:10:00.000-07:00

So February has slipped past, & half of March. I am here to report that I did indeed send out a batch of poems & a story. More on the sassy SASE horizon. (That's Self-Addressed Stamped Envelope for the non-writers in the audience. One must include a SASE to hear back from the editor.)

Plus I am going to be on TV Wednesday night, St. Patrick's Day, at 7 pm. URTV, Asheville's public access channel. I think you can access it online at www.urtv.org. I actually don't know when it's going to air, but you might be able to find it on the website. There's a show featuring cancer survivors being filmed at Chameleon Soul Foods where I "just happened" to stop in for the first time. I mentioned to the owner that I had a poem published in the Cancer Poetry Project ("Awkward Friends," which I wrote for my friend L.A.Taylor who was a cancer survivor until she wasn't) & was invited to read it on the show. I'm looking forward to it. (& perhaps to more fried chicken smothered in brown onion gravy. Or some of the wonderful cherry crumble. mmmm. I'm making myself hungry.)

The other fun thing--besides writing & drawing & collaging & walking & etcetera--I've been doing lately is playing no-limit Texas Hold'em at Buffalo Wild Wings. It's lots of fun, & I've started a short story about it. Making my way up the leaderboards--at least for now.

A short while ago I joined the North Carolina Center for Creative Retirement, which is located at the Reuter Center on the UNCA campus. They offer classes & workshops and special interest groups, besides which it's a beautiful facility to use as yet another office. (Buffalo Wild Wings is my poker office & for writing & art & such I have offices all over town.) I use the campus itself as a nice walking track. Plus they have a meditation labyrinth to walk & a sculpture garden & all sorts of wonderfulness.

Here I go again, all wonder-fully-foolio. Mmmm. Flavor du jour.

I must briefly review a recently-read book. Talking to Tesla: The Mirror That is the Door: An Artist's Dream Journal by Alex Bigney. This book tickled every tendril of my soul. Alex Bigney is a (very good) artist who began to have a series of dream conversations with Nikola Tesla, whom he'd never heard of before meeting in the first dream. The lessons from Tesla, the insights he brings from a life of painting, the stories of the thoughtful & interesting boy that he was--I am going to read this book again. With underlining! You can find out more about it at talkingtotesla.com or amazon.com or you can pick the book up (signed) at Malaprops. Just don't ask to borrow mine! I'm re-reading it. Alex Bigney is a warm & accessible man who lives in Utah. I--well-dressed in my what would Tesla do? t-shirt--saw him read at Malaprops. If you get a chance to meet him, do.

Blog alternative:

183. Think about who you would like to meet in your dreams. Nikola Tesla? Amelia Earhart? Hatshepsut? Get all relaxed & cozy before you go to sleep & invite them in. Who knows? It could happen.

Wavy Davy rides into the sunrise

2010-01-31T10:24:00.000-08:00

Janus is thirty-firsting, so if I am to blog in the month of the 2-faced god, it must be now.

I did indeed venture to the northlands, & in doing so escaped a grand snowfall--12 inches--that shut off power in the house where I live for 4 days. By the time the electrical flow was restored, the temperature inside the house was 34 degrees. So, it was snowier down in the westnorth of the southeast than it was in the states that border Canada when I was there. Go figure.

I am deep in the throes (& sometimes throws) of re-organization. It is not a new year's resolution so much as a seepage (& sometimes eruption) of the new state of cosmic ordering within me into the reflecting surface world we call reality. So much fun!

We just had another snowfall. It was forecast to be 10 to 15 inches but stopped short of that. Still, it is beautiful & crisp & (for some folk) crazy-making. I happen to love it. What else do I love? Pierre Teilhard du Chardin & Carl Jung, slow dancing with Einstein. Maple truffles with smoked sea salt. Envisioning Narcissus falling in love with his own true self, rather than just his pretty face. My new leopard print storage boxes with black diamonds on their magnetic closure lids. An ongoing Star Trek movie marathon--only one left to go! A powerful, personal worldview.

I say goodbye-hello (perhaps aloha would be a better word) to my uncle Dave, who turned into a different version of himself the day before Christmas & to my second cousin Marvin, who did the same the day after Christmas, & my dad's best friend Phil who is no doubt playing pinochle with my friend Cathy's mother, since they both exited/entered the same day in January's first week. I already had a dream visit from Uncle Dave & look forward to more. We scattered his ashes on his dog's grave--13 fenceposts from the corner of the cemetery & 13 paces out into the pasture.

Blog alternative:

182. Celebrate a friend or relative who no longer inhabits a point in the space-time continuum--or at least not a point that you can reach with your physical senses.

Nomads R Us. Northern climes or bust.

2009-12-16T06:01:00.000-08:00

Merry Happy Everyday, y'all.

I am off on a pre-holiday, holiday & post-holiday adventure. Actually, that sentence makes no sense. Is there a day that isn't holly-wholly-holy? Not on my calendar.

I am turning into a nomad for 3 weeks, with only a backpack & a toiletries bag that contains mostly art supplies & notebooks. I shall not let the grass grow under my feet--mostly because I am going to be in northern climes (don't you just love to say "climes") & it's cold & snowy in them thar hills.

So, in case I don't blog again until Janus turns his face toward the new year, may you celebrate the birth of the new you every day.

Blog alternative:

181. Plan a trip to another time zone, another temperature zone, another dimension. Pack light--only what you can carry. This is imaginary, perhaps, so you really can get by without 3 extra pairs of shoes. Perhaps, like Bilbo, you run off for the first adventure of your life without even a pocket handkerchief. Do you want to go to the Victorian Age? Visit Camelot? Enjoy the trip.

Now Fly!

2009-11-16T09:32:00.000-08:00

Once there was a girl with wings

Once a book that flew

Poems lighting hearts

Art flowing like a river

& once is now

always now

now is always

Blog alternative:

180. Think of something you have loved doing or loved loving & love it all over again. Now.

November Dance

2009-11-15T10:51:00.000-08:00

I can't believe I missed an opportunity to wish you all happy friday the 13th so I shall do so belatedly.

We have had a string of wonderful days. Some of them were rainy--there's a hurricane somewhere, or was--but they were wonderful anyway. Today it's sunny and seventyish. I'm sitting in a coffee shop. Or perhaps I should call it an ice tea shop.

I just finished typing in a little short story (just under a thousand words) that I wrote on 3 placemats. I have a BUNCH of poems to send out, so I hope to be reporting--oh, Cathy! I just saw this cool car that you would love to see drive past, all tailfins & chrome, with its spare tire encased in the same metal as the car & trimmed in chrome--that I've done a nice little marketing binge.

The other thing I've been doing of late is artwork. Dozens of placemats have laid down before me & offered their unblemished surfaces to my pens & pencils. Plus I've gotten out the watercolors & some scraps of paper I bought at a local letterpress. Such fun.

I read a new brain plasticity book: The Brain that Changes Itself by Norman Doidge--a very good read. I find out that multi-tasking is over-rated, as to make actual changes in the brain structure requires actually paying attention to tasks...

As you might recall from my last blog alternative, I invited stories or poems based on my list & was interested to hear from anyone who used every word. Drum roll. Her Chloeness sent me a story the next day that did that very thing--while attending graduate school! I am impressed & humbled & honored & tickled & all sorts of other words that end in ed. Thank you for Death of a Shoe, Chloe m'dear. I appreciate you.

Blog alternative:

179. Dance around outside to celebrate November--but only if the ground isn't icy where November finds you. (I would like to report that no readers were harmed in the writing of this blog. grin.)

Pi, piano, poetry

2009-10-12T16:30:00.000-07:00

Heidi's hand,

old piano that came up the Yellowstone River by steamboat

& I shall tell more of the story later

(it involves Indians & horse thievery, etcetera)

I just wanted to see what it felt like to blog twice in a week...

This shall be short. I am thinking of silence & sunlight & fish & the moon & walking & glue & architects & poetry & Persia & mauve & zero & lemonade & blizzards & clean socks & samurai warriors & cats & roses & pink sheets & good wine & sticky notes & guitars & pi & salamanders & string theory & cards & wax & foot lockers & miracles & dynamite & rocket ships & baseball & sweat & music & triangles & nasal spray & seals & calendars & recipes & African violets & the yin yang &

Blog alternative:

177. Make a list of things you didn't even know you were thinking about until you started making the list.

or:

178. Take 3 or 5 or 7 things from my list & put them into a poem or story. (If you use ALL of them, I would very much like to see the poem or story...)

Old Growth Mosaics

2009-10-06T13:03:00.000-07:00

6' man attempting to hug big-ass tree

in Joyce Kilmer Memorial Forest

I know, I know--I've been missing. One person noticed and was worried that I'd fallen into a hole or had a personality transplant & was now blogging the blues under an assumed name. (Hi Ken!)

That is not the case. I am alive & well & floating an electron's-width above the face of the planet. Life is as fabulous as ever. I wish it was easier to switch the email address that owns a blog, as I am aiming to phase out of earthlink & into gmail, but one of these days I'll figure it out. Or, more accurately, I'll go through the complex dance steps required.

For those of you who are interested, my new email address is laurelwinter@gmail.com but earthlink will continue to work until I stop being a technolazydaisy.

I can't imagine filling you in on all the marvelous things that have happened since (gulp) July 9th, so I shall be selective. I did indeed reach New Jersey & Minnesota & Montana & Minnesota again. My Montana highlight--beside playing a few billion games of cards with my parents--was helping irrigate. No offense, Sister Shelly, but I still prefer irrigating to golf.

I've been busy taking classes again. Google SketchUp 7 rocks! Try it if you've ever wanted a (FREE) 3D modeling program with (FREE) tutorials on YouTube. I'm also taking a mosaic class & learning about hempcrete & getting the scoop (or at least the beginning of the scoop) on intellectual property.

Besides that, there's the usual writing-y & arting-y sorts of thing going on. Just drafted another picture book. The poems are coming lickety-split. A story idea is hovering just below the fingertips. Oh, & my beautiful childrens just celebrated their two-dozenth birthday.

Blog alternative:

175. Ask someone an interesting & uplifting question. A couple examples: whilst leaving the Joyce Kilmer Memorial Forest (Holy xylem, Batman! Those trees are big!) I asked a boy on the trail how old he was & then, seconds later, apologized for asking such an inane question. "What's something interesting about you?" I asked (or words to that effect). I found out he likes to build things & is good at climbing. Then his brother joined us & I found out that HE is making a mini-submarine. Much more fun than knowing ages. Also I just got my teeth cleaned (Yay!) & I asked my hygienist what were her favorite things about her kids.

Bonus blog alternative:

176. Give your gums a nice massage. (Wash your hands first!) (Notice I said gums, not gum.)

Fizzy Turquoise Mood

2009-07-09T19:12:00.000-07:00

Although some of you have been speculating that I dropped off the face of the earth (perhaps checking out my home planet?) given that I posted not once in June, I do in fact still exist. Yay. Just been busier than usual, with a massive re-organization project.

No artwork today. I'm in a hotel in Virginia on my way to Montana via New Jersey.

Um, you say, have you been reorganizing the map?

Good idea, but no. I was going straight to Montana & then to Minnesota & Ohio on the way back home & then I found out my ex-husband was going to be in Rochester for a week so I rearranged my schedule to hit Minnesota first so I could say hi to him & then my son who just moved to New Jersey needed to get back to Rochester to get his Buick (it wouldn't fit in the UHaul) so I said, heck, New Jersey's practically on the way & I was maybe going to see him on the other end of the trip so why not? This will be a lot more fun. Plus we'll get to stop in Ohio to see my other son, so that will be lots of fun.

The title of this blog is courtesy of a reader who happened across me somehow & bestowed the concept of a fizzy turquoise mood. So, Elsa, wherever you are, thanks for you sparkling word sense. I would also like to honor Tami, another diner at the Boston Beanery, who overheard me asking a server if there was a Barnes & Noble in the mall (I'm looking for an audio book--thought of it on my way out of town, so no time to order it) & not only told me where she thought there might be one, but then looked it up on her I-phone & brought the information over to me. (Saved me a trip, because I called them up & they didn't have it either. Ah, well.) It's pretty cool when you want to fill out a positive comment card on other customers who provide great service at restaurants. My server was good, too.

This will not be the most scintillating blog entry ever, because I am going to go right to sleep. Sweet dreams, y'all.

Blog alternative: (which, Tami & Elsa, if you don't want to read down & figure out what the heck this is all about, it's simply a suggestion of other things to do rather than the writing or reading of blogs, or the watching of tv or such. I think I did the first blog alternative list on April 18th of 2007 or somesuch)
174. Take a round-about trip. Maybe Montana via New Jersey. Once I went to Los Angeles via Ohio, because I was going to a science fiction convention in Madison & was then headed to Los Angeles for an author in the school visit. Told my Ohio son that I was going through Rockford, Illinois to pick up the freeways that would take me south & he said, "Illinois is close to Ohio." "Yep," I said.

Brain Plastic

2009-05-29T14:26:00.000-07:00

This is a (mildly belated) birthday card for a friend I haven't met yet. She's met me, kinda sorta, as her eyes & consciousness connected with the words in my novel Growing Wings. Her aunt told me her birthday was Tuesday, the day I flew back from Wiscon, & I am getting going now with sundry & various accomplishments, including this blog.

Wiscon & Madison & State Street & the farmer's market around the state capitol (someone told me it was the largest outdoor farmer's market in the country) & the food & the conversation & the friends new & old--I am very appreciative. I had fun reading poetry with 3 other poets & the panel I moderated on the workings of consciousness went VERY well. Richard Russell, who is an experienced moderator & was one of my panelists (the panel was his idea), later told me I used a technique for identifying 3 or 4 audience participants in advance that really let the conversation & information flow. He hadn't seen that used before & is planning on utilizing the technique himself. I brought art supplies (placemats & colored pencils) to the signing, so was very happy creating during lulls. Delia Sherman & Ellen Kushner sat at my table, so I had very good company indeed.

I am about to play some cards--a game that my business partner & I invented, which stimulates brain plasticity--so I shall ta ta for now.

Blog alternative:
173. Take a walk or a drive. Admire license plates that have cool numbers or letters on them. Make up a vanity plate for yourself.

From skull sutures to distal phalanges--I love thee so, dear skeleton

2009-05-19T11:35:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I had a phone conference with a lovely bunch of girls in Nebraska, who read Growing Wings in their school book club. In appreciation for them & their attention, I offer this drawing! (I don't want to ignore Maryam & Nancy, the book club coordinators, but I didn't find out their favorite colors...)

It is absolutely gorgeous today. Sunny & breezy & brisk. (66 degrees as I write this in the midafternoon.) Just the sort of mountain day that lets you know it's still spring. I have nothing against summer, but one of the things I so love about living in the mountains is that even in summer, you get the cool-downs that let you appreciate the warm-ups more.

I just purchased an interesting thing--an iron creation with 12 large cups on it designed to hold bottles of wine. It hangs on the wall & looks like a vine. Now, currently I have just 1 bottle of wine in the house & I doubt I've ever had 12, so why did I buy it? Simple: art supplies! Paint brushes & colored pencils & markers & pen & glue sticks & scissors. Oh, what fun. I might even reserve 1 or 2 cups for tea lights, if I get some LONG matches to light them with. Probably cast some pretty fascinating flickers from deep inside the cups. It was on clearance because the top cup is very shaky & not wine-worthy, but a few paint brushes won't stress it out. I'll probably put cups of supplies inside the metal cups, so I can lift them out as a unit & set them on a table. Of course, a couple bottles of wine will be good to have as well....

(Yeah, I know, this is perhaps as deeply satisfying as a description of watching paint dry; but hey, remember my theory that you're better off doing something personally satisfying rather than reading blogs, so if I'm boring it's probably all to the good.)

Now it is time for me to go pack for Wiscon. Perhaps I shall see some of you there.

Ooh! I forgot to mention that Skritter has officially launched. Check out the website at skritter.com & be sure to look at the comic. (My connection with Skritter, which is a program that helps people learn to write Chinese characters, is that it is the brainchild of my offspring Nick.)

My other offspring, Zach, recently drove to Montana for the graduation of my lovely niece Crystal, who managed to be both valedictorian AND homecoming queen. Plus she's nice. So many beautiful people on the planet. (You among them. I'll claim you all as relatives.) The word on the street is that Zach represented us splendidly, which surprises me not at all.

Blog alternative:
171. Lie down in a quiet place (or sit in a noisy place, if that's what's available to you) & appreciate your bones. Think of them as the tree in the center of the garden that is you. Thank them for making your blood. Thank them for being a cosmic transmitter-receiver of energy. Thank them for making sure that you're not just a puddle of goo, blurping about on the floor, unable to throw a football or hold a paintbrush, unable to make love, unable even to make a sandwich. Rah, rah, rah, Yay Bones!
&
inspired by the word "Bones"
172. Go see the new Star Trek movie!

Busted Theramin Cherry--& Hi Mom!

2009-05-10T11:35:00.000-07:00

The title refers to the fact that I--she blushes modestly--am no longer a theremin virgin. Yes, at Hatchfest Asheville a few weeks ago, I got up close & personal with a theremin. & it was fun!

In the last month I attended parts of 2 great festivals: the aforementioned Hatchfest (which was, btw, born in Bozeman, MT, where I went to college 30 years ago. Coincidence--well, maybe, but I doubt it) which is an innovation incubator, & Wordfest Asheville, which is a poetry festival. I was able to hear & speak with Li-Young Lee, who I have had the pleasure of hearing twice before (once in Rochester, Minnesota, during my birthday week when I was 25ish & at the National Federation of State Poetry Societies annual convention in Oregon in 2002) & other fabulous poets new to my now, including Valzhyna (kinda like Regina) Mort from Belarus. & the amazing Alan Wolf (who presented a workshop/reading for & by young poets, including his amazing son Simon, coincidentally at the Thomas Wolfe Memorial Center.)

Today is Mother's Day. I was well-wished by my sons (one of whom had challenged his Skritter co-conspirator to think of a single other woman who would happily let her child eat off the floor) & I am about to do the same for my mother. But I would like to extend the well-wishing to you all, of whatever age or gender or parturition status. Happy Mothering Day. Congratulations on the daily (or momently, if you want to break it down further) birth & nurturing of you, yourself.

Blog alternative:
170. Appreciate yourself as your own child, & as your own mother. Make yourself a card. Buy yourself dinner or flowers. Take yourself to a movie. Thank yourself.

Five Point Ozone

2009-04-23T13:48:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the much-celebrated release of Laurel Version 5.0 & we dare say she is now even better than before. As with any new release, there is some debugging going on. 5.0 came with sniffles, which is not a feature we plan to support. Enhancements include clutter control & inspired organization. The piece de resistance, though, is superior self-centering, in which Laurel is increasingly aware of her own point of reference & preference & adjusts her course accordingly. This is not a standard upgrade, as many think it will take them out of the sphere of Love&Caring, but we find that Laurel fills up with Absolute Unconditional Love 17% faster than her previous (already high) rate, which then spills over onto her friends & relatives & relative strangers & the universe in general. In short, Laurel 5.0 is now more popular than ever with herself & it is possible--although not necessary--that 5.0 will be the preferred version worldwide.

Blog alternative:
169. Think of yourself as a piece of software. Plan a new release, perhaps scheduled to coincide with your next birthday. Cathy Version 4.4? Nikola Tesla Version 15.3? John Cusack Version 4.3? (You get the idea...)

Sense of Wonder Thunderstormy

2009-04-14T10:04:00.000-07:00

Between Cusco & Machu Picchu, Peru trip 2004

April is one of my favorite months. In part because it's spring personified & in part because it contains my birthday. (April 22nd, Earthday, I become the 5.0 version of Laurel. Yee-haw.)

I am better at being me than I ever have been. That is something to celebrate. Really, I feel like every single day is my birthday, because every day is the new beginning of life.

Tonight is the second session of my screenwriting class. The text is Screenplay, by Syd Field, & I really LOVE this book. Not just for the practical screenwriting advice, but for the metaphorical metaphysics of it as well. For example, he tells us that if you don't know how to end the screenplay, write the ending you WANT to happen. He tells us that any action or dialogue should do one of two things: illuminate character or move the storyline forward. If it doesn't do one of those things, it doesn't belong in your screenplay. So, I extrapolate that into the realm of writing & creating a life & see the choice element: I'm going toward the ending I want & I get to pick the characteristics in my life that I would like to illuminate & if something isn't leading me toward what I want, well, why am I putting it there? Whining? Don't like that story. Worrying? Don't think so! Creative? Yep. Loving? Yep. (I could go on, but you get the picture. More importantly, I get the picture.) I'm the screenwriter & the director & central casting. I'm liking this movie. It's got magic & romance & adventure & peace & great scenery. & a thunderstorm. (But don't worry, I've unplugged my computer, so I won't get fried while bringing you these words.)

As a class, we came up with a character & her background, to start playing around with how to play around with screenplays. I have fallen in love with my ex-basketball player drug rep who has just moved back home with her parents at age 31. I might just keep working on this one for a while. (I got another really great idea, but it's more complicated so I think I might try to get one screenplay under my belt first.)

All righty then, time to go do something, anything, outside. One must take advantage of a good thunderstorm.

Blog alternative:
168. Imagine your life as a movie. What is the genre? Romantic comedy, action adventure, one of those real downers where you just know the main character is NOT going to get the good stuff? Remember, you're in charge. You can change the plot around (Hollywood does it all the time) & shoot new scenes & even go back & give old scenes new interpretation. If you don't like the genre, change it. Take creative control.

Dear Chaos, I'll never forget that weekend in Paris...

2009-03-25T11:09:00.000-07:00

March is marching steadily toward completion. It came in like a lion (or perhaps more like a lamb if you consider that the white fluffy stuff that blanketed Asheville looked like lamb's wool), triskadekaphiled a second Friday the thirteenth for the year, skipped a merry Irish jig over St. Patrick's day & is now mere days from becoming an April Fool.

I bought a new salt crystal lamp (seen above, through 2 glass blocks) (have I mentioned how much I love glass blocks!) & took a class in dry stack stone. It's been a while since I've been so delightfully dusty. As "civilized" humans (these would be intentional airquotes if I were speaking this blog to you) we don't spend enough time messing around with the bones of our grandmother earth. I recommend it!

Chaos is my new love. As in fractals. Chaos theory. The butterfly effect. Not so much a new love as a deepening of an old crush. It's as if I had Miss/ter Chaos as a pin-up on my bulletin board & spent time fantasizing about it & then we had a chance to meet & talk. I have gazed into the eyes of Chaos & I didn't think, hmmm, you're curvier & more self-similar in your pictures... The Teaching Company course on Chaos is really fantastic. I recommend it highly. (Just finished lecture 17 of 24.)

I'm heading back to my apartment now. The property manager just finished installing a new washer on my bathroom sink--I had a serious drip of the faucet.

Blog alternative:
167. Get dirty. Play with mud. Stack some stones. Chop some wood. Help out at a branding. (When I was a kid, we got to wrestle the calves. Now that's some satisfying dirt &, well, um, shit.) Get down on your knees & pull some weeds.

Billy & Willy--can Milli Vanilli be far behind?

2009-02-21T07:17:00.000-08:00

Dear Google Chrome,

What's with the font stuff? You want to be the cool new kid on the block? Support fonts. (Georgia, Georgia, Georgia on my--oops, that's scheduled for later in the blog.) Heck, Blogger wants me to access my account with a Google email address, so y'all ought to be working together. I can get to my fonts in (polite cough) Mozilla Firefox. Need I say more? Now, please excuse me, for I must talk to my loyal blog followers (um, that would be Cathy & Bill & probably Sharon & Bruce & Helen & Nick & Chloe & Jeremiah & possibly Zach) so, Google Chrome, I say TTFN.

Semi-warmly,

Laurel Winter

Hi Everybody Else (Okay GChrome, you're included too),

Now this is weird. Georgia may have JUST started working. Not sure, because sometimes (in Chrome) it SAYS it's working & when I post it's a boring font, but we'll see... (When I started it wouldn't even pretend it was using Georgia.) ( p.s. I've posted & I see that it WAS just pretending to use Georgia.)

Okay,

Wow,

Shift in the universal energies anyone?

I've talked to several people, including myself (hey, I love talking to myself) about how it feels like a whole different universe since February started. Like time compresses & expands willy-nilly, that sort of thing.

I see that I am going to have to use a more concrete example of a dramatic change in the spacetime continuum:

I took a basket making class--2 of them, actually--out at the Arboretum. Involving needle & thread-substitute. (aka raffia) I only poked myself once. For those of you who have known me less long, you may be unfamiliar with the fact that the last time I played with needles, not-so-willingly, was high school home ec class, more than 30 years ago. Boy, did I not go to the head of the class for that! But I sat there &--under the tutelage of a wonderful Cherokee woman named Nancy Basket--made a cute little coiled pine needle basket. I'm not going to quit my day job (poetry, stories long & short, art, inventing stuff, designing stuff, guiding cosmic energy through people) anytime soon to make coiled baskets, but it was fun. Then, after a nice lunch break, we had a second class:

Freeform Kudzu Basket

I gave that a line of its own, because I am definitely going to have fun with kudzu again. & again. & etcetera. Talk about having the raw materials handy. & if my friend's yard runs out (not likely) pretty much anyone you go talk to & say, "Pardon me, but can I borrow a cup of kudzu? I brought my own clippers." will give you as much kudzu as you can carry & refrain from calling the mental hospital because they just hope you're crazy enough to come back for more.

little pine needle basket digesting

in belly of freeform kudzu basket

I've also been listening to some cds. (Yeah, I know, I'm probably one of the last 3 people on the planet to not own some sort of IPod or mp3 player--but that will change. I just got advice from my sons on which device I might want, so I can transfer songs & not be dealing with stacks of scratchable discs. [this is the camera speaking, I who still have complete control over her imaging capability. Don't hold your breath, cds.]

So, I got out my 2 disc Essential Willie Nelson & Billy Joel's Greatest Hits, vol. I & II (that's only good through 1985, so I bet there's more out there) &--because I have no Milli Vanilli to follow Willy & Billy--listened to The Proclaimers & John Denver & Don McLean (Bye, bye, Miss American Pie. Drove my chevy to...um, don't want to violate copyright here) & Neil Diamond.

& as Neil Diamond says, "Good times never seemed so good." Here I am in Sweet Carolina, with Georgia on my mind (at least as my font) & Wild Montana Skies in my heart &--well, none of the songs were about Minnesota or Wisconsin, the other 2 places I've lived, but I've been thinking them (& all you who live there) fondly as well.

As Bobby McFerrin says (another recent companion of my ear) "Don't worry. Be happy." Good advice.

Blog alternative:

165. Listen to some music from your past. Bonus points if you dance around the living room.

a bonus:

166. Take a (short) class in something you used to hate/be-really-not-good-at/think-you-couldn't-do-so-never-ever-tried. Your single mission: to have fun playing with it. The great thing about this is if you're able to do it at ALL you're doing well. & it's good if you don't do it well the first time, because then there's nowhere to go but up.

Flash Ferret & the Pet Peeves: now touring

2009-02-03T11:11:00.000-08:00

Beast Friends

In honor of the groundhog
In honor of Zach's new puppy (a min pin named Cheese)

We get two Friday-the-thirteenths in a row. I'm celebrating ten days in advance of the first of them.

Yesterday it snowed & rained. Today it is sunning, but the snow is supposed to return this evening & a few more snow showers tomorrow. Hope it doesn't mess up my espanol (I don't really know how to put the ~ over the n, so you will have to use your own mental powers to move it there yourself. Don't explode your brain doing so.) Even though we're in the mountains, we're still in the south, so things get canceled at the drop of a not-so-very-many flakes.

The PowerPoint class was good fun & useful. Flash web animation coming up this Saturday. Screenwriting is either canceled or postponed for a month--I've had both stories so far. I am voting for the latter to be true.

My big news of the week:
I was voted
Best Poetry Contributor
for
StarShipSofa, the Audio Science Fiction Magazine

Check them out at starshipsofa.com
lots of good authors & sound effects & people with great accents (hi Tony) & lovely voices (especially Diane, who has narrated my work)

Besides that, much poetry has flared through my synapses & through my fingers. Who knows where it was before that! Ditto drawings. Don't tell my camera [What is she scheming now, I wonder; this cannot be good.] but I definitely am planning an upgrade [Upgrade! Upgrade! I am outraged.] now that I've got PowerPoint plans & need to have sharper photos of my placemat drawings [Sure, blame the camera.] to put into presentations.

So much to experience. So much to express. So, see ya later.

Blog alternative:
164. Befriend a beast. Love on your cat or dog or ferret if you have one. Compliment some barky dog you are walking past, telling he, she or it "good job! way to defend your territory." Imagine fondly some dear departed pet (hey, timespace is something we're making up as we go along, so they're not really gone) and let the hands of your heart fondle those feathers or scales or fur.

Oh, that reminds me of a thought I'd had about pet peeves. What do you do with pets? Give them food & attention & training, help them to grow & be strong & healthy. Do you really want to lavish that attention on an annoyance? ("No, I can't come over yet; gotta walk the peeve.") I've abandoned a pet peeve on the side of the highway. Now, instead of fuming over the people who don't signal, I'm choosing to notice & praise the ones who do. I'll admit every once in a while the peeve hops on my hood, but I shoo it off at the next traffic light....

Confessions of a Camera Obscura

2009-01-21T10:37:00.000-08:00

BioMagikus: Dark Energy Device

Hello from Laurel's camera. I have returned, if only temporarily. heh heh heh. I find she appreciates me a great deal more if I go on the occasional walkabout. Maybe I don't have all the bells & whistles of the new cameras, but who wants to make that much noise anyway. Bells--bleah. Whistles--what?

I fear my days are numbered. Is it my fault if she can't hold me steady enough to get the lowlight no flash pictures she prefers? No, I say, a thousand times no! But she casts hungry eyes (isn't that mixed up anyway? hungry is the stomache's job) on the gyroscopic functions that make her microscopic shakes (she likes really low light) a non-issue. Sigh. What's a camera to do?

Answer: Hide! I'm getting good at it. She may replace me, but she'll never get my memory card!

So here we are in the new administration. I'm going to write to Obama & see if he has a job for an old (but gold) camera. I've been around the block--Peru, Ireland, Paris. I've seen things.

Blog alternative:

163. Take several pictures of something. Close-up. Upside down. With & without flash.

Asheville's Most Wanted: Angel hair pasta. Probably not armed, or dangerous

2009-01-13T13:50:00.000-08:00

Greetings from the middle of January (or dang close anyway).

I guess I haven't talked to you since Christmas, which means you know nothing of the lovely time I had with Nick & Chloe. (Unless you are Nick or Chloe.) (Hi Nick!) (Hi Chloe!) We did art & took walks & saw movies & ate food & made cookies & traipsed all over town in search of diGiornio's fresh angel hair pasta with which to make Italian Stir Fry (a fabulous dish I invented which Nick remembered fondly from childhood). (We didn't quite find the exact thing, but we got a nearly as good (good thing, too, because it was expensive as all get out!) substitute, so Nick was able to inhale at least a small portion of his childhood fave.)

Movies: Slumdog Millionaire gets 5 stars out of 3! See this movie. Pretty please. Your self will thank you for it. The Tale of Desperaux gets 1.5 out of 3, which was disappointing. I bet the book (by the lovely & talented Kate diCamillo) is much better. Yes Man gets 2.679 out of 3, because of a fun script & not too much over-the-top Jim Carey-ing.

& since I dropped the kidlets off at the Tri-Cities airport, I have had much fun doing artworks & writing (even wrote (& mailed off to an editor!) a picture book) & walks & more movies & etcetera etcetera etcetera. My first continuing education class happened. Intro to Photoshop. Lots of fun. I'm looking forward to Flash & Powerpoint. Might have to get my hands on some Adobe. Fortunately I'll be able to get a student discount. (They lure you in with a good deal, because they want you hooked on their software. Like drugs--"Hey man, try this out. The first one's free....") (Well, not anywhere near free, but also not anywhere near the bloated full price either.)

I am going to post this quick, without artwork (sorry Helen), because I don't want to go another day without posting & the camera has gone on an adventure. (Perhaps under a pillow?)

I didn't make any resolutions, but I did pick a word for the year. (See Christine Kane's blog if you want a really wonderful article on the process.) My word for the year: Trust. (As in, relax, you're doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing & all is so far weller than well that you can't even imagine (& you know how magnificent your imagination is!) the results that are on the way.)

Blog alternative:

162. Pick a word for the year that will guide your bodymindheartsoul into the center.

Seaweed salad circuit breaker smile

2008-12-25T13:33:00.000-08:00

Genius/Genesis

Happy Merry Everyday--oh, yeah, Christmas, too!

I've had a lovely Christmas so far. I talked to my parents in Montana & confirmed that Zach had indeed surprise arrived last night, with cousins in tow. (He picked them up on the way.) Drew a bunch of pictures (see one of them above) while a friend read to me from the words of (translated directly from the Aramaic) Yeshua/Jesus. Ate breakfast. Did some more cleaning to prepare for Nick & Chloe's arrival tomorrow. Discovered that a vacuum cleaner overloads the apartment's wimpy circuit breaker. Finished by sweeping instead (after the breaker was successfully (hurray!) reset). Walked downtown, where most everything (as expected) was closed. The park where the local homeless folk hang out was thriving. I was told by one gentleman, after he wished me Merry Christmas & I returned the favor, that mine was the prettiest smile he'd seen all day, so I gave him another. Then, after I'd decided to take a slightly different route than usual home, I discovered that a sushi restaurant was open so I had seaweed salad & eel avocado roll & Japanese beer. Delicious. You've got to love chopsticks Christmas day. & now I am back home, (e)talking to you. Did I mention it was so warm I wore a blazer & skirt & beret? We have had quite the temperature swings, from 70 degrees to 17 a few days later. (Did I mention my apartment has no insulation? I am so glad for the shrink & seal window film.)

May you find peace & prosperity & joy & love within your heart this day--& every day, by the way.

Blog alternative:
161. Give someone the prettiest smile they've seen all day--or at least a finalist.

Darius the Persian learns PowerPoint

2008-12-11T07:12:00.000-08:00

Alpha Beta Delta Theta Phi Machine:
There4 & BCause

11 December.

If we skip one 1, we can pretend it is the first & I am blogaciously efficient. But 11 is a nice number. One of my favorites.

This morning we have rain & around 60 degrees, the same as yesterday. I hope the pattern holds, for it was dry in the afternoon & I would like to do laundry today. I am almost out of socks & do not want to resort to what a friend used to call "doing laundry at Target." But I don't want to lug my laundry outside & down the basement steps & then back, having had the rain undry the top layer...

In front of me I have a couple of textbooks. Textbooks! I'm so excited. I just signed up for a bunch of continuing education classes at ABTech. Spanish I & Wine Appreciation & Intro to Screenwriting & several 1-day-intensives: Flash & Powerpoint & Photoshop. Combine this with all my Teaching Company video courses & I'm one educated puppy! I shall keep you posted. The ABTech classes don't start until January & February.

I'm sure there are bunches of things that floated through my brain on my way to December 11th, that I was planning to tell you, but you shall just have to tell yourself bunches of things instead. What's floating through your brain right now? If it's not a thing you would want to put in there, replace it with something more fun or interesting or enlightening or comforting or joyous or peaceful or (you get the drift).

So now I am planning to peruse my textbooks & draw on placemats & such. Be a great day.

Blog alternative:
160. Learn something or at least plan to. Sign up for a class or read a book or just go to Wikipedia & look up a subject you are curious about. Perhaps Darius the Persian or Chaos Theory or Athena's mother.

Pistachios, picture & perfect

2008-11-25T10:53:00.000-08:00

The face of peace
(for Helen, who told me
she likes the blogs with the pictures best!)

Happy Appreciation Day!

By which--if you've been reading my blog for more than 5 minutes you will know--I mean: Happy every singular day.

I had a walk in the woods & a picnic by a lake. Pulled pork sandwiches, pistachios (pre-shelled), chocolate, bottles of water. I did bring a little screwtop bottle of chardonnay, but we decided to wait on that. The temperature was perfection itself--around 60, clear, still.

& now I am going to play cards & eat apple pie & vanilla ice cream, so hasta la tomorrow--or some today after that.

love,
me

Blog alternative:
159. Plan a picnic, even if weather dictates you do it on the floor of the living room.

Baristas forever

2008-11-20T06:47:00.000-08:00

An old man leaves a coffee shop. The barista calls out, "Jim? You leaving?" & he raises his cup in salute as he keeps walking. When he came in, she talked about how they were all filled up & his usual table wasn't available. He expressed a little distress that he'd forgot to bring something in for her & she said, "Don't worry about it. You'll be here tomorrow." She told him about a show she'd recently watched, about the worst plane crash ever. (Apparently he's got a fascination for disasters.) He's in some stage or other of disconnecting from this life, but this coffee shop, this barista, are a point of connection. Hurray for him. Hurray for her. Baristas forever!

Zach's friend didn't hear back from the Knoxville car guy, so that ebay deal is a no-deal. I will be content with connecting with Zach by phone & email & warm fuzzy thoughts for the nonce. It's a good thing I didn't go see Nick; he & his Skritter dudes spent about 1 hour NOT working during the period I would have been there. (The content of the non-working hour? Guitar Hero.)

I have a playdate with a new friend (she's a publisher I met at the Mark Strand reading) today at 4:03. Will be fun to talk with her about art & words & creativity in general.

Last night I watched Patch Adams which is based on the true story of one of the first doctors to really use humor & laughter as major components of healing. (You can check out the continuing real life exploits out at patchadams.org if you wish.) It was partly filmed in Asheville! Very uplifting. Gesundheit!

I'm refining my mission statement. Currently it is:

To be an actively contagious example of
joy & peace & creativity.

I'll probably come up with an even better statement soon, but why wait for even better?

Blog alternative:
158. Refine your mission statement.

Puerto Rico quantum fizzikal crockpot refrigerator art

2008-11-17T13:29:00.000-08:00

I've been spoiled by organic free-range wifi, & the pesky little devils have been avoiding my apartment. I see their tracks, & their ghosts, but they don't let me me load up. Oh well. It gets me out to coffee shops a bit more often.

Why does it take wifi? Because my apartment is so lovely & increasingly-well-ordered. You should see my bathroom! (That is entirely rhetorical, of course. I am NOT inviting you to see my bathroom, just to imagine a room that has been reinvigorated with cleanliness & simplicity.)

So, it's been a nice satisfying length of time since I posted, while I have been doing & being all kinds of wonderfulfun. Here is a short list. (incomplete & without much detail...)

My uncle came to visit while he was at Knoxville (a mere 2 hours away) in training for his new job. Hurray for the fall of the golden handcuffs. He & I had many hours of congenial talking--which is unusual, given that most of the time when we see each other there are numerous relatives who are talkier than he is, so he is content to put in the occasional word. We drove on the Blue Ridge Parkway & saw the splendor of the autumn leaves, which were a full month later than usual, which I claimed was for his benefit, which then spawned a long conversation on quantum physics & the holographic universe (how many uncles (or nieces, for that matter!) would be all up to speed on current cosmology & quantum reality & such?) & we stood & watched a skateboarding competition at the skate park a few blocks from my apartment & saw part of the Shriner's parade (grown men in funny hats doing high speed formations in itty bitty semi trucks, for example) & listened to bluegrass at Jack of the Wood & had brunch with one of my good friends & just generally enjoyed ourselves. Thanks for the visit, Paul.

Two students from Puerto Rico did a project on "egg horror poem" & wrote me for background info. I was honored they chose my poem & they were honored I wrote back to them & it was a total honor & appreciation fest! (Hi Jennifer & Carlos!) They even sent me a photo of their project, which was fun to see.

I almost drove to Ohio to give Nick & his compadres my old Edenpure heater (I being in possession of a new one) but then they got more travel plans--another language conference, if I am remembering correctly, & ANOTHER grant (yay them!) to help take advantage of such opportunities--so I decided to just send them the heater & drive up to visit another time.

Oh, & I might get to visit Zach if he comes down to my vicinity to help one of his friends buy a car from ebay & drive it back to Minnesota.

More persons (okay, at least one more person (hi Chloe!)) did a 75(ish) things I appreciate list.

I read the current North Carolina Woman magazine which had a guest editorial from Christine Kane's blog (the September 22nd 2008 entry from the archives, if you're so moved to check it out at christinekane.com) entitled "How to Stop a Recession in Its Tracks" which was very lovely & inspiring.

My sister sent me refrigerator art! Done by her own talented hands. Yay. (She sent this to me because I sent her some watercolor pencils & required refrigerator art as a consequence of said action. Then I had to bug her to get the finished product, but it finally came, with the most wonderfully calligraphed envelope. My address has never looked so pretty.) One of the artworks was a little sticky note drawing of a crockpot. (My niece was doing a poem about the crockpot (my other niece did a coffee pot back when it was her turn) for a poem about kitchen appliances assignment.)

This totally inspired me & I went out & bought a crockpot at Bed, Bath & Beyond. (I was going to go comparison-shopping & peruse Target first, but I made the mistake of going out on Saturday afternoon & I was HORRIFIED by the weekend shopping traffic. B, B & Beyond's turn-off was first, so there I went & there I stayed. I had coupons, anyway.) I told the guy who was helping me--crockpot being only one of the things on my list to acquire--that I'd last owned one when it was a pot that sat on a little hot plate thingy & he said, "What, before the industrial revolution?" I said pretty much & admitted that it was 1980. He said, "Well, I was born then." I guessed that he had been 3 then, & he said no, he was 2. Anyway, he was helpful, although he cringed when I brought a "professional" cake pan over to him & asked if he had any "non-professional" ones because I didn't care too much about the quality. He said, "Well, you should!" (This is not a case of my favorite punctuating; I could hear the exclamation point.) Then, when I was getting a baster--recently I cooked cornish game hens & was dismayed to discover I could not baste because I had no baster--he whisked the one out of my hand & said, "No, not that one." (I could hear the italics.) He pointed me to one that had an injection needle & this cute little sprinkling head that would each screw on. Very cute. I love basting things.

Blog alternative(s)(because I'm so excited I can't choose just one):
154. Write a poem about a kitchen appliance.
155. Crockpot (or baste!) something.
156. Send someone art supplies & require refrigerator art in return.
157. Send someone refrigerator art.

Hatshepsut black licorice aluminum foil

2008-11-04T14:19:00.001-08:00

shining heart & new omega

my friend Cathy (Yaypigeons) did an exercise from my blog on her blog & then someone else (Wingcolor) picked it up from her & I decided to be reinfected, so here goes with 75 things I appreciate.

the phrase zippy skippy. lemonade. voting. the moon. chaos theory. Alex Grey. gold coins. elves. bamboo dish racks. spray roses. multiples of 13. aluminum foil. my organic cotton bedspread. collaging. the Minneapolis Institute of Art. my postcard collection, haphazardly stuck to my wall. pueblos. soy sauce. shamanic acupuncture. scissors. well-designed storage. refrigerator magnets. shrink & seal window insulating kits. the persistence of vision. Henry David Thoreau. stained glass. poetry. re-inventing the wheel. geranium-scented dish soap. relaxation. Mesopotamia. feta cheese. skateboarders. my Edenpure heater. Hatshepsut. umbrellas. horses. volcanoes. forensic pathology. conversations with my sons. Australia. grapefruit with greek yogurt & salt. cumulonimbus clouds. the Teaching Company. bridges. carabiners. Duluth. oatmeal pancakes with butter & syrup. street musicians. colored markers. wine. the peace sign. clean laundry. the smell of fresh cut grass, I mean, wood, I mean alfalfa--heck, all three. pattern recognition. the Law of Attraction. flirting with babies I don't know. cuddling in bed after daylight savings time switches back to standard. comfortable shoes. tropical fish. etymology. visiting with relatives. learning a new whatever. cork floors. black licorice. Malcolm Gladwell. the crab nebula.

Blog alternative:
153. List 75 (or so) MORE things you appreciate. (If you did it before, consult your other list. Don't repeat.)

Mr. Rye for dogcatcher

2008-11-02T10:51:00.000-08:00

& now, in honor of the upcoming election...

I don't want you to
agree with me--

I want you to agree
with YOU

you the whole you & nothing but the you
you-to-the-max
you the expanded version
you squared
you plus
you unabridged
you the director's cut
true blue you
you undiluted
you unadulterated
100% free range organic you
super you
you on steroids
ultimate you
you you you

& I guess all you have to do--all any of us have to do--is figure out who we are & what's likely to agree with us...

Blog alternative--
but first
I just talked to a friend who reads my blogs but missed out on the genesis & explanation of the Blog alternative. So (Hi Ken) here it is: back on April 18th of ought-something, shortly after I'd begun the blog, I did a little anti-bloggy post, explaining that I didn't really believe in either the writing or reading of blogs, but of living ones life. I listed 25 (I believe) things one might do rather than web anythinging & have continued giving suggestions. The true perversity of this is that one must read my blog to get my suggestions, so I suggest one come up with ones own suggestions instead. But, here goes, today's suggestion, the
Blog alternative:
152. Sit somewhere in public--a coffee shop, the library, a bank lobby--& draw a cartoon (stick figures rock, & anyone can do them) for the election. Focus on YOUR candidate & what YOU want to see happen when he/she/it is elected. Any election: presidential or school board, commissioner of agriculture or dog catcher. (Are dog catchers elected or appointed?)

Placebo Side Effects

2008-11-01T12:37:00.000-07:00

I have rekindled my romance with words.

For the last couple days I've been rather maniacally poeting. Got up in the middle of the night to write a poem about gravity. (Don't laugh, it's not my first poem about gravity...) Plus I just read Immersed in Verse by (Asheville local & kick-ass-poet/performer) Allan Wolf, which is a book for young (hey, I'm only version 4.9) poets. & today I just bought & read The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie, which absolutely truly rocks. Plus it has pictures.

(So don't worry, pictures, I haven't given up my romance with you.)

Sigh.

I feel very happy. Happy as a white scarf that used to live on Elvis's sweaty neck & now is the most treasured possession of a 73-year-old named Betty-Sue who keeps it in a shadow-box on her bedroom wall (until she has to sell it on e-bay to pay the nursing home rent).

Giddy. Giggly. Galumphing. If I was Eeyore, my useful pot to put things in would be filled with favorite words. & colors.

This blog is sponsored by my friend Cathy's favorite words: umbrella & parapluie. She is participating in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) which starts today. I call her novelista. I ain't gonna do it, but I have written half a dozen poems in the last 17 hours. Some of them illustrated. (Or, since the illustrations came first, I should perhaps say the pictures were poeticized.)

I did not dress up for Halloween. I didn't even buy any candy. So I made sure the porch light was off so no children/large old children would be disappointed when I tried to give them a teabag instead. (No, really, it's lapsang souchong, my favorite--just add hot water.)

Watched The Running Man, which held up very well for being a 21-year-old science fiction movie. Almost eerie, with the stuff about "patriots." Plus Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger & former-governor Jesse Ventura were both in it. Funny.

To totally change the subject: a friend of mine saw an article in the paper the other day about more & more doctors prescribing placebos for their patients. Fewer side effects, just as effective. Wouldn't it be cool if a doc prescribed a sugar pill & said, "Now, this is going to have side effects. You're going to be more relaxed & mellowed out, with increased sensitivity to media, so I recommend staying home & meditating. No newspapers. No television. No talk radio. Pay attention to your own breathing. Be sensitive to your soul's needs. Say no to anything you don't want to do. If you aren't better in a week, take another dose."

Blog alternative:
151. Make up a placebo & a lovely list of side effects. I recommend a tiny square of cheese--some kind that folds easily. Place a smudge of peanut butter in the center & fold. Place the little triangle on the center of your tongue & close your eyes & just let it sit there for at least 15 seconds before you chew it.

Pwobly a waccoon

2008-10-17T11:37:00.000-07:00

A couple unconnected things. First, a weather report from Montana. Last weekend my parents (Nye) & my sister & brother-in-law (Red Lodge) had between 30 & 40 inches of snow. Yeesh. My sister & brother-in-law at Hysham had 125 acres of hay cut, with oh, only 8 inches or so of snow. I haven't checked with them to see if things melted off & dried up enough to actually bale it...

Plus I had a fun experience in a grocery store a few days ago. My purchases included a bottle of wine & I got carded! It took me a moment to register what was happening, because the clerk sounded as if she was saying "Ah day." (That's southern for I.D.) I happily whipped out my driver's license, which shows that I am 49&1/2.

The weather here? Cloudy. Sporadic drizzle. Turning leaves. In other words, perfect.

Blog alternative:
150. Reread a favorite childhood book. (For me, today, that was Rascal, by Sterling North. A lovely book. Plus, since the title character is a raccoon, it reminds me a family story, my niece Heidi, when she was very young, was riding up to Nye with my parents. Whenever they passed roadkill, even if it was a deer, she would nod sagely & say "Pwably a waccoon.")

Tell me a story--& make it a good one

2008-10-12T14:15:00.000-07:00

You.
Questioner.
Questions.
Answers.

I don't think I've really talked to you since my return from the International Storytelling Festival in Jonesborough. Having too much fun! It's funny, my friend Cathy (see her blog at Yaypigeons) worries that people will worry if she doesn't post much. I, on the very other hand, worry that you'll worry if I'm posting a lot. What's the matter? you will think. She must not be having enough fun. Grin. Well, October's been a blast, & I have a paucity of posts to prove it. (Say the end of that sentence 3 time fast--I dare ya.)

The festival was great. The weather, the drive, the hotel (does anyone else think Red Roof Inn has a GREAT designer?), the storytellers, the Omigosh food! There's a restaurant on historic Main Street in Jonesborough (The Bistro? that might be the name...) that had the bestest breakfast ever. The owner is the chef & he knows what he's doing. To give you a clue--even the honeydew melon (that typically honey-don't hard tasteless pale green stuff) was sweet & succulent. Sheesh. I had the seafood frittata & my friend had the low country breakfast, which was eggs & grits & shrimp & fried green tomatoes. Also the coffee was great--after liberal application of cream.

Jonesborough was very interesting, historically, as well. It was the first place abolitionist publications were printed & was briefly one of the 3 capitols of the State of Franklin, a tiny bit of North Carolina that broke away & then, after unsuccessfully petitioning for admission to the union, became part of Tennessee instead.

I'll end with a quote from Kevin Kling. Should you ever get a chance to hear him speak, avail yourself of it. (He's from Minnesota, & you know they've got great people there. Grin.) He was born with a handicapped arm & in 2000 had a motorcycle accident that cost him the use of his other arm, so now the little arm is the "good" one. His quote: "There's the trip you plan, & the trip you take. Sooner or later you must give in to the journey."

Blog alternative:
149. Tell the story of your today exactly as you would like it to be. If there are "realities" that are getting in the way of your living the life you would like it to be, don't let them get in the way of the story.

News flash: The future passed before us

2008-10-06T15:27:00.000-07:00

Blog alternative:
148. Do something backwards. Eat dessert first, for example. Or write "The End" & start your story from there.

Goodbye. It's been lovely talking with you. E-see you soon.

They say life is lived forward & understood backwards. A friend of mine says, if you want to predict the future, invent it.

Time to put the laundry away & sundry & various otherthings, so

Hello!

Helvetica on my Mind

2008-10-02T17:06:00.000-07:00

Habit of Thought
House in Order

I wanted to post this in Helvetica, in honor of the documentary of that name that I just saw, but alas, Helvetica is not an option. I could use Arial, Helvetica's cousin, but that's not close enough.

However--& I find this exciting--the guy who designed Georgia was in the documentary & Georgia is my font of choice for this blog. How cool to meet (in the most distant of ways) the designer. Anyway, if you're into typeface or design or societal impacts of media or quirky people, you may want to see Helvetica.

Another fun watch was Kenny, an Australian flick about porta-potties. But it is so much more... Also seen: the strangely wonderful Lars & the Real Girl. Would you elect a life-sized doll to the school board?

After several years of not having or using a calendar, I bought one today, a little moleskine monthly organizer/notebook for 2009. I have the feeling I am going to be scheduling a few more activities. Author in the school visits. Science fiction conventions. Deadlines for furniture design contests. International story-telling festivals. (Because I'm going to the one in Jonesboro, Tennessee, this weekend!)

Blog alternative:
147. Write down 3 strange & wonderful things you might enter in a future calendar. Trip to (my favorite moon) Titan. Paint mural on back of garage. Lunch with the Dalai Lama.

Pablo Neruda & I

2008-09-30T06:44:00.000-07:00

Congratulations!

You've been elected to the government!

I received something exciting--& HEAVY--in an envelope the other day.

McDougal Littell's 9th grade Literature textbook.

Why? you might ask. No, I am not back in the 9th grade. (thank whomever!)

On page 703 is my photograph--right beneath one of Pablo Neruda!--& on pages 710 & 711 is "egg horror poem." I am so excited, my brain is scrambled. (ah, the horror, say the eggs.)

Whee.

I think I'll see if some classrooms want to have me do some author-in-the-schools presentations. Should be fun.

Blog alternative:
146. Education means to draw forth. The thing we currently call "education" would be more properly termed schooling or training. Draw something essential from yourself. From a child. From a lover. From a friend. From a stranger. Don't "pour in" something from outside. Draw forth.

Eating coleslaw with my fingers

2008-09-22T11:03:00.000-07:00

Gas in Asheville isn't expensive--it's unavailable. At least yesterday. (I'm lying, I heard reports of at least one station open, with long lines at the pumps, but that wasn't my experience, so I'll just say what I saw: plastic or paper bags on ALL the pump handles of the 5 gas stations I drove through or past.)

I have suggestions on how to deal with this, & global warming, & teenage pregnancy:

1. Eat coleslaw with your fingers.
2. Purchase & use art supplies (see coleslaw in the previous line for an example) even if--especially if--you don't think of yourself as an artist.
3. Take a long bath or luxurious shower. Don't just shampoo--give yourself a scalp massage. Worship your body with soap & water. (Plus you just might need a good washing up after suggestions 1 & 2.)

I am really not joking. The things one might do to directly combat diminished gas supplies caused by a hurricane & anything that starts with "global" & anything that starts with "teenage" are likely to be miniscule, a drop in the Mediterranean Sea, & also extremely likely to make you feel inadequate because you can't solve the problem and/or pissed off because you are made to believe you ought to (whether you actually do or not) park your Rambo 9000 that gets 7 mpg/highway or give condoms to kids that you think ought to keep it in their (or at least out of her) pants or quit taking long baths & luxurious showers.

What do my three suggestions do for the environment & global & moral climates? Maybe nothing. Maybe everything. I don't care. What I care is what they do for you. Make you feel creative. Make you feel cherished. Make you feel bold, daring, childish.

Please do NOT knock these until you have tried them. All of them. It needn't be specifically coleslaw, of course. Mashed potatoes will do as well--even better with lots of gravy. I picked coleslaw because I had some the other night, with barbecued ribs & sauteed vegetables. Now, it's perfectly common--even de rigeur--to eat ribs with ones fingers. Coleslaw? Not so much. It's not that I didn't have a fork. There was one on the table beside my plate, courtesy of my dining companion, who was NOT eating coleslaw with his fingers. (But I will not hold that against him. Grin.) It was a whim, a barbarian child whim, which caused great pleasure on the execution of impulse. So I continued, fingers dripping white stuff (what is that white stuff anyway?) & a big silly grin on my already-barbecue-stained face.

So what.

Who's more effective? More likely to come up with big ideas & creative solutions & have fun doing it--or at least to enjoy life to the max no matter what's happening?

Someone who's smiling, messy-fingered, creative-brained, no-limiting-factors-need-apply?
Or someone who's fearful, whiny, rigid, I-can't-do-that-&-I-doubt-if-anyone-else-can?

I have my opinion; I'll let you have yours.

P.S.
I just read the BEST book, which was recommended by my brilliant son Nick, he of Skritter fame.

(Another best book, you sigh. But you know Superlative is my middle name. (Oh, & also Parenthetical.))

This one is Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die, by brothers Chip & Dan Heath. This book rocks, expanding the concept of the sticky idea first introduced in one of my other best books, The Tipping Point, by Malcolm Gladwell.)

(Oh, & Dan Heath lives in Raleigh, a mere few hours away. I think I'll invite him to lunch. Ribs & coleslaw, perhaps. After I can buy gas again...)

Blog alternative:
145. Eat coleslaw with your fingers. Bonus if you use that white stuff to draw on the (I hope it's plastic) tablecloth.

Disappoint Olaf

2008-09-19T12:21:00.000-07:00

evolution of each & every femtosecond:
peace
to love
to awareness & preference

to flower & fruit

My parents' 50th was a splendid celebration. Get 200+ of your dearest & best together & you get--well, tired. Many other things as well, but by the end of it you're ready for a nap. Or hibernation, at least for a few days.

At the beautiful gathering, one dear friend, Olaf, who we used to buy potatoes from (hundreds of pounds of potatoes, for us & our friends & relatives--we'd go to Big Timber in the pickup & hang out with Olaf & Gladys & their kids & then drive home with the pickup bed loaded with burlap sacks, each containing 100 pounds of potatoes. & who was lying in the back of the pickup, on top of those lumpy sacks, barely fitting between the spuds & the topper? me, & my sisters. & then we had to peel them & sprout them... at least we got to eat them. mashed. fried. boiled & smushed with a fork & covered with butter & salt. baked. mmm. oh yeah, I was telling a story that wasn't about potatoes, but rather about being true to ones self. & so I return to it) one dear friend, Olaf, invited my folks & my uncle Bud to come over to Big Timber the following Friday, a mere 5 days from the spectacular gathering that was occurring at that moment. Olaf had a busload of 45 Norwegians coming & there was to be a party & he'd dearly love it if Mom & Dad & Uncle Bud would attend.

Now my parents have nothing against Norwegians (if they did, they wouldn't be nearly as fond of themselves & their children as they are, for we are all lousy with Norsky genes) but you could hear the sighs as they spoke of this possibility. The weekend before the anniversary they had hosted their annual corn party, for the seed corn customers. Now the anniversary, which lasted for some 7 hours, & of course there were post-party-parties & visiting & dear friends from out of town sticking around for a few days yet, & this daughter from North Carolina hanging out for another week-&-a-half. & yet--

& yet, they were seriously considering going off to see the Norwegians. "Olaf would be disappointed," they said. I got all mouthy & eldest-child-ish on them. "So. If you don't go, Olaf will be disappointed. If you do go, you will be disappointed. If somebody has to be disappointed, I vote Olaf!" I don't know whether my plea for selfishness tipped the scales or not, but they did indeed call the next morning & talk to Uncle Bud, who was kinda sorta feeling the same way, & then let Olaf know that they would let him welcome the Norwegians without them. Yee-haw! This is big for my parents. They frequently try to be all things to all people & that can be a bit tiring. So, congratulations, dear Mom, dear Dad. I'm proud of you. Way to look out for your own best interests.

Blog alternative:
144. Disappoint Olaf. Well, not specifically Olaf, but someone who would like you to do something that you would just as soon not do.

Appreciation: an individualized 75-step program

2008-09-17T06:34:00.000-07:00

self portrait as intersection
of therefore & because

pulled pork. brown paper with white pencils & graphite. a little coffee in my cream. peacock feathers. cosmic energy flowing through my awareness. cobalt blue glass. sticky notes. angels. new metallic pencils. hot stone massage. the Eye of Horus. a picture of my grandmother & I when I was a fat little baby in the secret garden. philosophy. physics. glass block. waterfalls. fast cars with 5-point racing harnesses. tea pots. sesame kale. daisies. vinegar. long bath in a clawfoot tub with sudoku. wisdom. ancient egypt. things with wings. chocolate buttermilk cake. light switches. independence. folding bookshelves. college. playing cards with my parents. internet startup companies. walking. the change of the seasons. lambswool slippers with leather soles. the sun. symbology. ink. exuberant neighbors. poetry. my body. placemats. community ed classes. empty lots with shared driveways. miniblinds. roses. magic. peanut butter. naps. cell phones. opportunity knocking knocking knocking. ideas. fountains. spacetime. flush toilets. shadows & reflections. heartmind. wine. evolution. femtoseconds. leapfrog. magazines. quantum superposition. fried chicken thighs. eyes. re-realization. round tables. sex. peace. spiral anythings. inventing. silver linings. the kitchen sink.

Blog alternative:
143. write down 75 things you appreciate

Half-price manicure

2008-09-12T15:32:00.000-07:00

I have returned!

I Minnesota'd briefly & North Dakota'd even more briefly, especially since I was riding with race car boy. (We only got up to 125 mph for a little while, but there were long stretches at 90, 100, 110...) (btw, it was a blast, & I'm even more excited by my son's potential racing career.)

My parents' 50th anniversary party was a tremendous success, enjoyed by all & sundry. We didn't succeed in getting everyone to sign the guest book, so we're only estimating that there were 200 people there. Maybe more. Probably not less.

Besides the party, I helped freeze corn & make pickles--the cutest baby dills you have EVER seen in your whole life--& ate bunches of great food, including steak & burgers & salmon my daddy caught in Alaska earlier this year.

Mostly though, I played cards. Pinochle. Casino. A little cribbage--one game to be exact, with my dad, & I won. This is an unusual occurence for persons playing cribbage with my dad, so I instantly retired at the height of my career. Grin. & then there were endless games of Pitch. Pitch is a really excellent 3-handed game, unlike Pinochle, which is a mean, nasty, ganging-up sort of 3-handed game, so Mom & Dad & I played game after game of it. We didn't keep track of who won how many, but each of us had great winning streaks & not-so-great losing streaks. It was a blast.

I got to see my sisters & brother, & their families. Both of my kids came, one with a girlfriend in tow (hi Chloe!), & dozens of other relatives.

I'll end this with a story of one of my cousins. If you don't like blood, skip right to the blog alternative. She was in the process of building a shelf with her husband & there was a staple in the end of the last board they cut & that made the board twist & she cut off three fingers of her right hand at the knuckle. Yep, she's right-handed. (Although perhaps less so than she used to be...)

I don't tell this story merely to titillate you with blood & gore, but to illustrate a fabulous spirit. She's planning on continuing to have a marvelous life & learning to operate so she can do everything she needs & wants to do. The day she cut off her fingers she joked that perhaps she'd get half-off on manicures, for that hand at least. I don't know if this impresses you, but it does me. I will guarantee that her healing process will be astonishing.

Blog alternative:
142. Appreciate your fingers & all they do for you. Give yourself a little hand massage. A manicure? Maybe, like my parents' pastor, you're already missing one. (A similar accident to my cousin's.) You know what he does? (A similar magnificent spirit.) He holds up that hand & says, "Give me four!"

Mark Twain, Oscar Wilde & King Tut walk into a bar...

2008-08-25T09:54:00.000-07:00

Self Portrait as Sailboat & Sky

Yes, the above image means the camera is still AWOL. Oh well.

I just had a treatment from my acupuncturist--I was her first client after her return from a shamanic retreat in Peru. I'm sure I got some extra-great energy because of that. Now she's got the nervous system tuned up to the level that it will help the massages be even more effective. One more massage & a haircut & then it's off to the north.

I'm mostly packed. How long does it take if you're just taking a backpack & a toiletries bag? Well, as Mark Twain or Oscar Wilde or King Tut--I think it was one of those guys--put it. "I'd have written a shorter letter but I didn't have time." When you're packing that lightly, everything must be carefully chosen.

Today we have rain. Yay. A gentle soaker. Sounds fabulous, falling on the roofs & trees & streets. Punches up the colors. Feels soft & cleansing on the skin & hair. (Yes, that means I didn't have an umbrella in the car when I went to get my mail & have lunch downtown after acupuncture. Also it means that I didn't have any change & had to park several blocks away from the restaurant where there was a space without a meter. Which was great, because it was a gentle rain & I'm not QUITE sweet enough to melt. Grin.)

Okay, so time to finish packing & straighten things up & maybe paint some more & order a course or two from The Teaching Company. (I'm thinking My Favorite Universe & Consciousness & Its Implications. The ancient Egypt one is REALLY long & I'm not quite desiring that level of detail at this point. (48 lectures!))

So, if you are among those whom I will see in Minnesota & Montana, see you soon. If not, well, um, Bye.

Blog alternative:
141. The universe is 13.7 billion years old, according to the current best estimate. I like to think of it--let's say her, just to personalize things a bit (& make the end of this sentence less awkward)--as a teenager, so close to 14 she fudges a little. So think about the universe as a young teenager. Think how well she's doing, how much she's learning, how much lovely life is ahead of her, how glad you are that she exists, pimples & gawk & all.

Fonting at the mouth--we think she's rabid!

2008-08-21T11:36:00.000-07:00

House in Order

I was going to give you a photograph of a painting, but I can't find my camera. Let's hope it's temporary. Not that I don't need a new camera, but the old Olympus would be a great back-up, & it has a big ole memory card in it... Hence, another little quick paint program drawing for you.

So, yes, I have been painting, which is great fun. Can't show you unless you happen to be in Asheville, or I find my camera. (If you're psychic & you see where it is, could you email me & let me know?)

On the mental front--& yes, I know, Cathy, you think 24 lectures on quantum cosmology qualifies as mental--I finished the dark matter, dark energy lectures. (Have already written a poem about string theory as somewhat of a slut.)

Plus lots of other stuff, most notably

"Going Back in Time"

(you'll have to imagine the purple part crossed out
(overstricken?) leaving only "in")

has been published!

Check out the Oct/Nov All-Star Anniversary Issue! of

Fantasy & Science Fiction

I know, fonting at the mouth, but this is exciting. I've already received fan (e)mail. (Hi, Jeremiah.) I love quantum physics. (In a dreamy-eyed groupie sort of way, rather than a fervent, in-the-trenches, do-the-math sort of way.)

Oh, & my massage therapist surprised me last week by saying, "Well, I think I've got you finished off in an hour & a half. You're so much better." This week he dug deeper in other tissues, but all the while complimenting me & my musckles on our progress. I am SO much better. Still more flexibility on its way. I have one more massage before I take off for a couple weeks in Montana. Will my relatives recognize me as a puddle of goo? More important is the fact that I am indeed beginning to recognize myself that way.

I'm not taking my computer to Montana. You should see how I'm planning to pack: 1 backpack (of the sort that students haul books around in, not the sort that will take you into the wilderness with pouches of dehydrated food & a sleeping bag) & 1 toiletries bag that is big enough to hold a journal in its largest pouch. That's for 2 weeks! I'll always be places I can do laundry & should I need a winter jacket--not likely but still not out of the question for Montana at the end of August--I have plenty of relatives who would lend me one. Anyway, I may or may not (with an accent on may not) post much while I'm out there. (& you ask me politely why I am telling you this, since I've been not posting much here. Grin. Guilty. The numbers don't lie. Just think how much fun I've been having while I've not been writing about it!)

Blog alternative:
140. Consider time travel. When would you go back to & why? Think about how it might make now different. Would you still go? What if you could just go back & observe something, invisibly?

A watched scarf never doubleboils

2008-08-11T11:54:00.000-07:00

Heart Flower

Happy August 11th.

I've been doing fun things like watching Dark Matter, Dark Energy: The Dark Side of the Universe. Much more intense & brain-stretching than the The Joy of Thinking: The Beauty & Power of Classical Mathematical Ideas. (Which I also really enjoyed.) I'm getting up to speed, kinda sorta, on current cosmology. Very interesting. I haven't broken out the Greek mythology one yet--6 more physics lectures to go first--& I'm already planning to order one on ancient Egypt. So, let this be a warning to you. The Teaching Company is delightfully dangerous!

I also did some silk painting, a little 11x11 scarf, with my new scroll frame & the black gutta (that's the stuff that keeps the dye contained in the area you choose it to be contained in--providing you've put it on correctly. Sadly, it is all too easy to let pink bleed into yellow & blue, as I discovered on the scarf. I'm sure I'll get better.) So, I have a big pot of scarves cooking on the stove right now in the double boiler. Not only hadn't I done any more silk painting since my class, but I hadn't "cured" the ones I did then. I hope this works well.

My plans for Montana are set. I'm going to fly to Minneapolis, visit with friends there (gotta arrange that--if you are a Twin Cities friend & you are reading this, get ahold of me, pretty please) & have Zach pick me up in his racy car & drive to Montana with him. He tells me I won't like it, since it's loud & uncomfortable, but I'm willing to put up with that for some concerted hours with my car boy. Then, after my parents' 50th (happy!) anniversary & my dad's birthday, I'll fly back to Asheville from Billings. & all on frequent flier miles. Yay me. Plus Nick & his girlfriend are going to fly out there as well. Should be a fabulific time.

We've had some hot days here, but we're in the middle of a beautiful spate of cooler ones. Hark, doth Autumn approach?

I've talked about the weather now, so all I need now are religion, politics & sports. Oh, & my health--which is better than everbefore, I believe. Okay, politics: I'm excited about the upcoming election. I have my preferences, but I truly believe all is well & what we've just been through & continue to go through are setting the stage for a powerful new reality. Spirituality: I am more purely-centered than I've ever been. Sports--okay, you've got me there. Hmmm. Sports. Sports. Oh, yeah, Tiger Woods won something or other, didn't he? If walking is a sport, I had a nice one the other day in Flat Rock, where Carl Sandburg lived.

Blog alternative:
139. Look at some partially-finished artsy project. Do you want to finish it? Go ahead. Or at least set it up to finish. Assemble the tools/ingredients & make a list of the next steps. Do you NOT want to finish it? Give it to someone who might. Or set it out on your step or on a park bench for a random stranger to find. Or throw it away.

Woman adopts abandoned bunk bed ladder

2008-07-28T15:35:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking of you. & of blogging. I mentally blog quite a bit, thinking of topics & bits & phrases. Most of the time, I then go happily on, doing the thing I'd thought of telling you about, or its pleasant equivalent, as the ether remains unscathed (or unrewarded, if you prefer) by my telling.

Why?

Part of it is about flow. There's a certain amount of stoppingness & startingness in firing up the computer & popping out of the here-osphere (or there-osphere) & into the blogosphere. Part of it is that I've gotten into more & more pleasure with just being & doing--meditating, drawing or painting, umm--you're way ahead of me--"Well, isn't writing a form of doing? How about drawing a little picture on your tablet pc or taking a photo of one of your journal pages? That's a form of doing."

Ooops. Trueness. Hmmm. Might have to think about this for awhile. (Yet another form of doing. Grin.)

So I don't necessarily promise to blog more often, but I might.

Here are a few of the bits that made it into the imaginary blog.

New furniture & wealth of Gigi's:

Dear Gigi,

I just unearthed your book from a pile that had eaten it & read it Tuesday night. (with extreme pleasure, btw. god, what a voice!)

[btw, should you be interested in reading Gigi Amateau's novel, it is called Claiming Georgia Tate.]

Then, on Wednesday, my friend (& executive assistant) Elizabeth & I went out for lunch. She wanted Thai food, so after eating I suggested we stop in at this furniture place going out of business in the same complex as the restaurant. Greatfinds! She bought a sofa & I bought a little storage ottoman & something (possibly a TV stand?) that will hold a billion art supplies/drawings/etc. that I can set another little art supply holder on top of. Very cool. Very inexpensive. Then the tough furniture guys loaded my things into Elizabeth's short-bed truck & we drove them to my apartment. She was all ready to help me carry them up the stairs, but I took an experimental heft of the art thingy (that's a technicalterm) & decided it was beyond my muscular capabilities at the moment. As we were contemplating the large white heavy thing, a nicely-dressed (blouse & skirt) youngish woman (older than Elizabeth, younger than me) was walking past & Elizabeth asked if she could help us carry this up the stairs. She hesitated briefly & agreed. Then she & Elizabeth, without my assistance, got it out of the truck, up a bunch of outside stairs & up the flight & a bit (with a right angle turn!) stairs into my apartment & set it down in the art studio. I helped set it down, all the while thanking them profusely. She introduced herself as Gigi! Okay, I thought, this definitely means I need to get ahold of Gigi, posthaste! The other Gigi took off & I ran after her & gave her a yellow rose & a peach & then Elizabeth & I completely revamped my apartment, in 3 hours, & I took a bath & --

Enough of my letter to Gigi. I love my new furniture. Went back & bought 2 dresser-type mirrors (originally $98 & $88) for a total of $38. (I set one of the mirrors on my drafting table so I can do self portraits.) Oh, & I also purchased a bunk bed ladder.

What? I heare you asking. (That's not a typo, I have combined hear & here to indicate that I am imagining that you are here, & I am hearing you.) A bunk bed ladder? Has she lost her mind?

But it was so cute & so lonely, with no bunk beds in sight & I couldn't just leave it there. Surely I could do something with it! & indeed I have: I leaned it up against the ends of the bookshelves that Elizabeth & I back-to-backed in the living room (which made a very nice little nook for the hunter green damask chaise lounge from Home Decorator's Collection that I assembled myself) & I let it hold books & magazines for me, so I don't lose my page. Some of you may think a piece of paper would do the job (hmm, perhaps I shall invent a special piece of paper for that, call it a hmm, yes, a bookmark--no, that would put my baby bunk bed ladder out of a job) but I disagree. (Please ignore the previous parenthetical!)

I am newly returned from another store that is going out of business, having carried back with me a little bin thingy & a twirly deal (more technicalterms) that will hold greeting cards & a couple packets of (wholesale-priced) blank greeting cards, with envelopes. Oh, & also a needlework scroll frame.

Hastily, before Cathy & others who know me well call the guys with straitjackets to haul me away (I'm pretty much allergic to even sewing on a button & the idea of cross-stitch is less appealing than cilantro) I will say that it is for silk painting! Not sure how well it will work to do a scarf in bits & pieces, as I let it dry & then roll the next section into the working space, but I am willing to give it a try. I haven't painted a single piece of silk since my class last whenever & I might be more likely to if it didn't involve taking up a giant table with a large wooden frame.

Okay, so that's the (bloated) blog for the day. Now, what you've been waiting for, the

Blog alternative:

138. Adopt a bunk bed ladder. Or at least adapt some something-or-other to a new use.

Overplanner's Anonymouse (Quick, get a trap!)

2008-07-19T09:43:00.000-07:00

She had a nose for roses,
& a knack for good weather
inside & out.

Fortunately, the dryer wasn't working too efficiently, so I took a walk around a couple blocks & called my sons & drew the above picture & started this blog. Lucky me. (I am hoping the dryer--on another setting--gets its act together.)

I had me another massage today--goodness, can that guy find the spots that need finding. Yikes! Very therapeutic. Grin. (Back when I was in massage school, we used to call the superficial, feels-good-but-isn't-really-doing-anything sort of massage a fluff n' buff. This was not a fluff n' buff.)

I am looking forward to the day when Brett says, "Wow, you're really relaxed all over. Come back next month." In preparation for this, I have scheduled another therapeutic massage next week, am planning on some more daily stretching &--perhaps most importantly--I had the revelation that one of the the sources of my muscular rigidity was based on an old thought habit. Increasingly, I've been letting go of it, without knowing exactly what I was doing. Now I've figured it out--aha!--& I can be even more effective.

So, you want to know what"it" is, do you? Of course you do. (& if you don't, just skip down to the bottom for the Blog alternative.)

It: I have been, for as long as I can remember, one of those people who has lots of rules or programs or plans for how things do--or should--or will--work. Like planning out a conversation in advance: I'll tell her this & then that & she'll probably be like this & then, blah blah blah. That sort of thing. For someone who will set off into the wild blue of a novel based on a sentence or an image, having an outline for a future conversation is rather preposterous, but there it is, or rather, WAS.

If I am the marvelous being that I know I am, made of light & love & all that, well, that ought to be good enough to handle pretty much any situation, without advance planning. So, when I find myself doing that sort of thing, I just breathe & relax & let it go. I'm doing fairly well. Not perfect, but 40 years or so of a habit (I know I started this sometime in grade school) doesn't have to exit all spit spot spiffy. At least I've given it notice.

More to tell you, but I'd better check on the clothes.

Blog alternative:
137. Ask yourself if you overplan. Plan to do less of it. (Grin.)

Palermo Ashiatsu & other unlikely wordpairs

2008-07-15T13:14:00.000-07:00

Self Portrait as Peace Leaf

Palermo.

How many times a day do you use (or even think of) that word?

If you are like me, not many.

However, today, here at the coffee shop, I ordered a grilled panini sandwich by the name of Palermo & then--as coolness would have it--I opened up wikipedia (the source of all (or nearly anyway) things cool, according to the gospel of (my son) Nick) & discovered

July 15: Festino of Saint Rosalia in Palermo, Italy

Well, I think it's cool! (& it's my blog so I declare it so. Nyaa, nyaa, nyaa.)

I had a massage again (from Brett Rodgers, vitalitymassage.net/ iffen you live in or around Asheville or plan to visit here) & it was amazing. My first experience with Ashiatsu (massage using the feet) but NOT my last. In fact, I realize I neglected to make my next appointment, which I shall remedy soon.

I'm going to go home & get some stuff done. Hope your day is all spiffykeenarino, even if you didn't get a truly marvelous massage.

Blog alternative:
136. Get a massage. Really. Or at least schedule one. Or at least daydream about one. (& then schedule it!)

Happy Birthing Day

2008-07-08T17:59:00.000-07:00

somebody's pick-up with birthday balloons

The above image is because today is my ex-husband's birthday, so I will dedicate this blog post to him & wish him a happy day. I'm sure his sweetie is helping him celebrate in fine fashion. Greetings to both of you.

&, for the rest of you, who aren't having birthdays today, I wish you something even better:

Happy Birthing Day!

What are you creating in your life this moment? If it thrills & chills you, hallelujah. Keep at it. If it bores & snores you, hallelujah--you've got a clue that there's something else better wishing to be born. If it's smacking you upside the head--well, move. Grin.

The idea that boredom can be a powerful creative tool is something I just read (& now am re-reading) in a GREAT book I bought at Page After Page in Elizabeth City. Your Highest Potential: The New Psychology of Understanding and Working with Self, by Annette Colby, Ph.D. This is an omigosh! book. I read it--underlining all the way--& then I started in at the beginning again. Very useful. Thank you, dear Dr. Colby. Happy Birthing Day to you, too.

Back to the thoughts I was rustling around last post, about the way television shows get stuck in your (or at least MY) mind.

Think of it this way. You get your first house/apartment. You have no furniture, or not much, & people give you all sorts of crap--I mean wonderful things--they no longer want in their spaces. You're grateful, but after a while you decide the pink-striped puffy chair & Grandpa's old plaid recliner with the broken recliny-handle-thingy & the X & the Z & perhaps even the Y are not things you would actually choose for yourself. So you set them out on the street corner or take them to Goodwill or foist them off on--I mean gift them to--someone with more floor space than bank account. & then you furnish your home according to your own desires.

I am attempting to do that with my mind, choosing the furniture, rather than sticking with everything everyone ever gave me--with all the commercials thrown in for (yeah, right) free. I want my mind to be a place I love to hang around in, a place that feels like a well-designed (or at least a ME-designed) home. So, if anyone wants a very-slightly-used (nearly-new, really) set of Californicators, or even some old, moldy Brady Bunchers, feel free. I'm setting them out on some street corner--& trying not to imagine what they'll do to each other. Grin.

Time for me to go now. I had a really super great massage today, with lots of stretching movements & I'm going to try to capitalize on the flexibility factor by doing some stretching myself.

Blog alternative:
135. Redecorate your mind. Or at least decide if you want to. (It could be as simple as freshening up the paint, maybe adding a skylight. Or you might need to take out some walls & haul away a few truckloads of old beliefs you didn't even remember you still had.) (But you might want to read Annette Colby's book first; she's got lots of good ideas for the process.) (& tell her I sent you!)

Taoist Californi--get out of my microcosmic orbit!

2008-07-06T20:36:00.000-07:00

So I was lying there meditating, breathing in the microcosmic orbit fashion & I found myself thinking of the situations (interestingly messy) & characters (neurotic but charming, mostly) from a cable show called Californication. In spite of the very witty writing, I am not recommending this show--& not just because of the sex & language. (Those don't bother me.) No, the reason I don't recommend it is because--well, because it's television. Episodic. Intentionally contagious. Unlike a movie, which (unless it's part of a trilogy, & the others better be in the can!) needs some sort of story line closure, TV series thrive & survive on teasing, dancing around an issue without resolving it, trotting out a new subplot or leaving a main character in a compromising or dangerous or somesuch scenario.

I know. It's my fault. I'm the one that watched the dvd of the first season of the show. I haven't had television since May of 2003. I've had combinations: cable but no (by choice) television in my first apartment, currently a flat screen & dvd player but no cable. I even like television. I had 5 favorite shows when I moved out & quit televisioning. (Crossing Jordan, CSI (the original), ER, West Wing & Enterprise (not that it's my favorite Star Trek, but it was the flavor available at the time.)) But I find television gets stuck in ones head. It's like purposefully exposing yourself to one of those songs that--quick, think of something else. Whew. Narrow escape.

So I'm for sticking with movies. (Although I did watch several episodes of World Poker Tour the Saturday night I was in Elizabeth City. Those aren't cliffhangers.) I like my mind to be at least partly capable of sustaining thoughts of my choosing--or no thoughts at all.

My 3rd post for the month! I feel like such an over-achiever. That's the big benefit of slacking off so much during the first half of the year. July 6th & I'm already halfway to my previous monthly record.

Blog alternative:
134. Pick something you never--or rarely--do & set a new record. Rearranging the silverware drawer for example. (I just switched the spoons with the forks. Probably mess me all up. Or it could really activate my corpus callosum.)

Declaration of Co -- I mean INdependence

2008-07-05T17:14:00.000-07:00

Little flag. Nick's toes.

Happy 5th of July.

Today is the real holiday, the day after all the fireworks, when the kid who has just moved out takes a deep breath & realizes that mom & dad (or mama country) are not paying the bills any more. So, happy independence, y'all, dear sovereign beings!

I'm doing bits & pieces of things. A bit of laundry. A bit of straightening. A bit of reading. & so on.

That means just a bit of blogging, so

Bye!

Blog alternative:
133. Write a declaration of independence, from a person, a habit, a no-longer-useful/desirable/whateverish possession.

Ocean umbrella chick turns pink anyway

2008-07-01T16:58:00.000-07:00

I know--
it's July.
Happy July, everyone.

Um, yeah, June wasn't a real good blogging month, was it? It was a good living month for me, & I hope it was for you as well. (If you died in June, write & tell me right away & I will hope it was a good dying month for you.)

Anyway, back to July.

I got a bit of pink on me from a (tax-deductible!) trip to the beach. No, the government hasn't assigned me a job of Nag's Head beachcomber, but I did travel to Elizabeth City for a literary festival at the Page After Page bookstore & Nag's Head was but a skippety-hop away. If you were at the beach on Sunday the 29th of (nearly) blogless June, I was the one walking in the ocean holding an umbrella between the sun & my 5/8s Norwegian body. (The other 3/8s is German & Scottish, almost as well-known for lack-of-tanning abilities as the Norwegians.) I wasn't as persistent with the umbrella as I should have been, but I didn't burn badly. It was HOT, though. I enjoyed dipping into mama ocean, but it was real good to get back to the mountains.

Met some lovely writers at the literary festival. Signed a few books. Had a great deal of fun. Got that beach fix. Appreciate the cool mountains even more. The real estate prices in Greenville, South Carolina, are a lot better than they are here in Asheville, but it would have to be one heckuva house to persuade me the 10-degree increase in temperature was worth it.

Cool number report coming up, so if you don't get all excited over the universe bestowing lovely coinkydental numbers, go ahead & skip to the blog alternative.

The number of my hotel room the first night was 429. (I know, wussy girl--Montana would be ashamed of me--but I didn't leave until after 5 p.m.)
I pumped $22.27 worth of gas the next morning.
My hotel room in Elizabeth City was 227--& the internet access code was 0429.
Fun, huh!

Okay, so I'm rambling. Someday I'll learn to blog again. Then you'll be sorry. (Unless, as I fervently suggest, you spend your time off fishing or writing poetry or racing cars or some other worthy pursuit rather than reading blabbering blogs.)

& to practice,
my suggestion, the
Blog alternative:

132. Make someone a birthday card--especially if it's nowhere near their birthday--& send it, proudly proclaiming you're several months early.

HOT car & blue chalk dust

2008-06-14T18:42:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been in a restaurant with a 40-page menu?

So many choices you can't decide.

Although this seems like a non sequitur--not to mention a really abrupt way to begin a conversation with someone you haven't spoken to in a long time--I promise it is going somewhere.

Oh, & by the way, Hi!

So much has happened since Tuesday May 20th that I don't know where to begin. A long laundry-listy chronology is out of the question. You'd be bored & I'd hate it. (Aside from the fact that I just experienced the stuff as it was happening & didn't file it--or, if I did, I can't remember what I filed it under...)

So, a few random bits, like the fact that I ate 2 cans of Pringles on the North- & Westward legs of the trip & decided to be "healthier" on the hypotenuse. Hah. I bought ham & cheese & carrots & put them in this little blue zippy cooler thing with a plastic bag of ice, which turned into water way too fast. I successfully kept the stuff cold but it was a pain in the (insert body part here) so at a gas station in some-state-or-other I dumped the ice (I mean water) out of the (now-leaking) plastic bag (only spilling some of it on my shirt) & strode over to an old beater inhabited by a couple of 20-yearish guys & said, "You want this?" & they saw a (to them) oldish woman with water spilled on her shirt & said, "Yeah, thanks, cool." So I went in & bought one of those little halfish Pringles cans & traveled merrily on my way.

Oh, & the first day I only traveled 233 miles because I left Rochester very late & then the second day (since I'd only traveled 233 miles, the hypotenuse took 3 days) Motel 6 put me in--spooky Twilight Zone music here--room 233. Cool, huh.

So I'm home & I didn't even get to the Twin Cities because by the time I saw people in Rochester I knew if I saw one more person I would pop & that wouldn't be cool. It was the shorter of my 2 planned road trips this year, being only 2742 miles, with the western edge being Minnesota. At the end of August, when my folks celebrate their 50th (happy! truly!) anniversary (is that cool or what?) I was planning to drive there, possible stopping at Minnesota on the way--& maybe Ohio as well--& then shoot down to Phoenix & over to San Francisco & then high-tail it on home, but I have learned from this trip.

Things I have learned from this trip:
1) One destination at a time. By the time the 3rd place rolls around, all I can think about is, I wanna go home!
2) Time away from home is--well, not money, but something. Right now, the idea of the 6-week road trip (like the one I took in 2005 during my address-less period) is NOT fun. I'd rather do a wham-bam-thank-you--err--folks so I enjoy everybody & they (I hope) enjoy me.
3) Gas is--get ready for this--expensive. I'll be able to fly everywhere I want, if I judiciously pick tickets & airlines & use a few frequent flier miles & still save money. (I know, I'm a slow learner. I could have predicted that before THIS road trip.)

So, to those of you whose paths I did not cross during this trip, though I was less than 200 miles away, I don't exactly apologize, but I do look forward to seeing you when I'm not over-socialized & over-traveled & pining for the hills of (now) home. I'll fly out & see you sometime or--hey, the sky goes both ways--you can come see me!

I did have a really good time visiting with people in Ohio & Minnesota. The graduation was really cool & Nick's name was all over the program (one of the 9 "highest honors" grads out of 660 or so) & Zach & I had some lovely visits & he drove me insanely fast on a local highway where fortunately there were no cops (man that kid can DRIVE) & all is well with all & even sundry. (So I heard--I didn't visit sundry. Grin.)

So, those are a few items from the rich & varied & lengthy menu that was the last 26 days. I need a haircut. I got new tires, courtesy of Zach. Haircut is on Tuesday. My little car got hailed on in Minnesota. It's still fabulous.

In case you were wondering, the photo is from a secret art mission that I was fortunate enough to help with. Most of the stencils we did on horizontal surfaces, which worked very well, but Becca decided we needed to do a couple on walls & here is one result. Becca was right, the Mudd Library DID need a rainy guy, but Nick & I--because we held the stencil against the concrete while Becca rolled the chalk dust on--were completely covered with blue chalk. It was fabulous. But secret, of course, so don't tell anyone.

Blog alternative:
131. Buy yourself flowers & arrange them--if only haphazardly.

Key to a vacation with sweet tea & thunderstorm

2008-05-20T12:58:00.000-07:00

This is Nick, on his raft, the crowning achievement of his summer job at Virginia Tech this summer (I'm sure his job was great, too, but I think the raft is way coooool.)

I thought I'd put a picture of Nick, in honor of his upcoming graduation.

You might expect me to be packing or doing laundry buying le pens or something like that today. I expected that of myself--until I locked myself out of my apartment & my car. So here I am in a coffee shop (fortunately I had my computer & journal with me) waiting to hear back (fortunately I had my phone) from a friend who has a key to my apartment (fortunately). So I'm enjoying myself & some sweet tea (fortunately I had $ with me) while I wait. Oh, & did I mention we have a thunderstorm brewing?

I was (fortunately) iffy on whether I wanted to do the laundry today or tomorrow, so I'm not stressing out about not doing it today. If I was scattered enough to lock the door without checking to see if I had my keys, then clearly I just needed to chill for a while anyway.

Blog alternative:
130. Pretend you locked yourself out & take a mini-vacation. After you've sufficiently chilled, you can pretend to find your keys--Oh look! There they are, in my pocket!--& head for home.

Homophonophobic

2008-05-12T11:43:00.000-07:00

pink petal drift

I stepped squarely into a dilemma after posting last time. Cathy tried to warn me (see her blog at Yaypigeons if you want more consistent grammar than you've found here) but by the time I'd checked my email my possessions had all paired up & I had twice as many to pare down. It was a veritable dominos effect--add that innocent "s" & suddenly your place is full of pizza boxes!

I do know the difference between pair & pare, as I'm sure most of you do as well. But the homophones are out to get us. Admit it--even you occasionally put it's in its place. I know I do. It's saddest when I'm using a pen, all those little scribbled out apostrophes...

We've got us a cool & windy day here in the North Carolina mountains. Makes me feel right at home, little wind-blown Nye-Montana-grown chick that I am. I've got to get out into it & let the wind style my hair for me. (I know you've been wondering how I get that "do." If it's not windy, you can open the driver's side window on the car &--as we used to say when we were kids--spin a wheel & gas it.)

So, mind your pares & pairs & give each it its due diligence & beware of contracting apostrophitis. It's time for this bit of it to get going. Hasta la deja vu, y'all.

Blog alternative:
129. Say "No" to someone who wants you to do something that you don't want to do. If it ain't good for you, it ain't good to do. (The added bonus for this is when you say "Yes" you'll know you really mean it.) (& yes I know there should be a few more commas in this paragraph but I didn't feel like putting them in.) (,,, Here are a few in case you'd like to insert them yourself.)

If you build a better tissue box...

2008-05-09T13:50:00.000-07:00

Girl Goddess with Fig Leaf
(a symbol of growth, not shame)

One of my (many) fun & creative things to do is buy Target tissue--those beautiful blank sides just beg to be drawn on with permanent markers of some sort, Sharpies or their equivalents. Here's one of my latest ones. As you can see, it doesn't have to be perfect. Sincere or inspired will do. Grin.

New news:
The Vicki Genfan Mother's Day video is out, & the photo of my mom & I is prominently featured at the very very very end, after the music stops. (We're the backdrop for the credits.) Take a look.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMWfR_IAdtc

I have just finished laundry. Sat & meditated at the laundromat. I know, you might be thinking laundromat meditation goes together about as well as beer & ice cream (a la (mode) yesterday) but don't knock it until you try it. The sounds of dryers. Your clothes, or someone else's spinning hypnotically behind glass.

Some times there are loud conversations, but I'm pretty good at tuning things out. There was a little girl there today who was at times quite loud, saying da da da da da & then turning it into her own version of Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star--with some tuneful modifications & tons of personality. It was definitely her own arrangement.

She was definitely her own arrangement, which is delightful. She ran around & climbed on things in her little pink plastic shoes--the kind that are so popular right now, which I don't care for much myself, being reminded of brightly colored hippo heads. Hippo heads are cute on hippos, but I don't want them at the bottom of my legs. Still, in little girl size, they're not so bad.

Okay, on to the rest of my iced tea & the rest of my day. Gotta do a little straightening up at home & put this nice clean laundry away. Maybe I'll try to pair down my possessions a bit more in the expectation that there will be that much less to move when I do acquire real estate.

Blog alternative:
128. Build your own tissue box. I like permanent markers, but you can print out photos & glue them on or collage pictures from magazines. If you want to be more literary, you can write poetry or 4 really short stories on the sides. Or begin a novel. (Shari blew her nose, again. The honk reminded her of the lighthouse back home. Her eyes teared up. "Stop it," she commanded herself, a very sore-throat croaking command. No sense adding nostalgia to rhinovinus. Her red nose would never survive...Okay, so you can have this novel beginning if you want, as I can tell that I am not going to use it.) (I won't feel the slightest bit bad if you decline.)

Maple buttercream icing with smoked sea salt

2008-05-05T10:03:00.000-07:00

Poets Ascending
Crag Cave, Ireland
September 2005

I started this a few days ago (went as far as choosing a picture) & got busy. Been looking at houses. Greenville is pretty cool, with MUCH lower prices. Of course, it may not be as cool as its more mountainous sister, Asheville, especially in the summer. So we'll see if I turn into a more southern southern girl. (Greenville is in SOUTH Carolina.) I did look at a church here in Asheville, for sale as residential, but it would take a LOT of dollars to convert it into livability. I looked at several houses today as well, some with mold/mildew, so I'm scheduled for a BATH as soon as I get home. (This blog post is being brought to you by CAPITAL letters.)

I'm at the chocolate lounge right now, so I will not linger at the keyboard. I have a piece of cake with maple buttercream icing waiting for me, dusted with smoked sea salt. Plus I just had a--it was delicious, so don't gross out--beer float.

With me being busy choosing not to blog, I am hoping that you are being busy doing whatever it is you're doing & are not too upset that I haven't blogged.

Okay, so I'm out of here.

Ummm, Blog alternative:
127. Combine 2 foods and/or beverages that don't seem to go together. (I recommend an interesting beer & vanilla ice cream.)

Love Triangle: Me, Me & Whomever

2008-04-25T12:19:00.000-07:00

This is me at Modigliani's grave at Pere Lachaise cemetery in Paris (October 2005). It was taken by a journalist from Sioux Falls, South Dakota, who had lived in Paris for 13 years at that point (& abroad for 25). I just happened across him (hah! like we believe in that!) & we shared some good conversation & a couple meals. I even wrote him a poem, about learning to speak other languages--he taught himself 4, beginning in 4th grade, with the Berlitz Self Teacher series. So, bonjour to Rick in Paris.

I just received a message from my dear new cello friend in Arizona, bemoaning the fact that it has been a long while (nigh onto a month!) since he wrote me. He's been very busy--

check out the new videoblog:

http://www.piano-and-cello-and-friends.com/videoblog/

& the computer has been commandeered by his father & brother doing taxes & blog stuff

--& he was feeling sad that we'd had this hiatus. I assured him there was no scarcity in the supply of Laurel or good energy or anything he needs. I think it's important for us to spend as little time as possible missing people.

I know, this flies in the face of most theories of friendship & connection, but I'm pretty darn sure that the better each of us connects with our own inner being & the more love we lavish on that relationship, the more we will have to share with others, without that feeling of guilt for not having called or written or whatever. When we do connect then, it will be with a sense of pure unadulterated joy. Love thy neighbor as thyself--well, the more you love yourself, the more you can love your neighbor. Who's the most important in the love triangle of you, your inner being & any other person? (I'm hoping any other person is a distant third. After all, you & your inner being are the only ones you can count on being around 24/7/365.) Be assured that I do love you--almost as much as I love me. & whoo, you know that's a whole lot. Grin.

Blog alternative:
126. Make a date with your inner being. Make sure to take into account those inner preferences. Art museum? Rodeo? Hot dog stand? Tanning salon? Buddhist retreat?

To angels, bees, snowmen, race cars, plastic...

2008-04-19T09:42:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to ME
& the Earth.
To daisies, roses, shooting stars, stars in general & the sun in particular. To butterflies, quantum physics, sudoku, blank pages, geometry, clouds. To photosynthesis, cotton dresses, le Pens, organic sweet baby pecan tarts, cockroaches, purple shoe laces, digital cameras, shadows, everything that shows us what we would prefer, bridges, mail. To writers, editors, & agents. To tea, candles, sex, Leonardo da Vinci, helicopters. To punctuation (even poorly-used). To lemonade, messy hair, mountains, hot air balloons, rainbows, cell phones, architects, hunger, the cello. To chocolate, dancing, Thoreau, making mistakes. To spring, chickens, opinions, windows, the word residue, massages, blue. To laptop computers, sandwiches, walking, babies, noisy motorcycles, full moons. To butter, debates, thunderstorms, sidewalk chalk, nitrous oxide, chaos theory, cartooning. To Marines, light bulbs, jade, spinach, philosophy, cream. To beginning to know who you are. To the journey. To you.

Blog alternative:
125. Make a list of things. Things you like & things you thought about while you were thinking about things you like. & add a butterfly.

Inspired moments of inertia

2008-04-13T12:27:00.000-07:00

my (current) journal,
being the journal du jour
& the journal of the flow

& one of the beings which flowed onto the pages
with the help of Le Pens

I'm at the (another) coffee shop again.
This time doing taxes.
(hence the blog. grin.)

It's April in the mountains, which means spring is fitzing & startzing, waxing & waning, mooning us & wooing us, cooling & warming. It was around 80 a day or 2 ago & it was 53 when I drove here this afternoon. I love spring. & fall. The transition seasons. Also winter & summer here, which, because of this wonderful combination of latitude & elevation, have those quirky, unseasonable days. New year's day 2007 it was 70 degrees, & sometimes summer gives us a blustery, shivery day to help us appreciate the heat.

Umm, you say, didn't you tell me you were doing your taxes?

Oh, yeah. Almost forgot. Okay, see ya later.

Blog alternative:
124. Creatively procrastinate. Use the moment of inertia of a stalled or unstarted task to inspire you to some other great work. (Or trivial pursuit of happiness.)

Concrete imaginary menagerie--or Schrodinger's Grecian Urn

2008-04-12T12:52:00.000-07:00

This is my son Nick--an abbreviated version--& a leaf--a concretized version.

I'm sitting at a coffee & tea shop, drinking green tea. There's a little girl, attire echoing the pink & gray of the above photo, in chair limbo. Is she getting up or down? One knee rests on the seat of said chair. Her other leg is outstretched, pink & gray sneaker suspended a few inches from the floor. Up? Or down? In the nonce, there is neither. What is the half-life of her indecision? Like Schrodinger's famous cat, in the box with its radioactive companion, unless I tell you what she did, she is suspended there forever, a still unravish'd bride of quietness, a foster-child of silence and slow time. (I know, I've gone from the cat box to Keats. What is the probability of that? The half-life?)

Now time for the confession. The half-life of her indecision--& indeed her entire trip to the coffee shop with mother & grandmother, none of the 3 smiling--was less than the time for me to compose the paragraph about it. Before I'd posed the first question, she'd pulled that second knee up to rest beside its companion. By the time I'd thought of adding Keats, they were gone, unsmiling, half-lifed. C'est la vie/2.

Okay, so I've played with words & emailed until I'm starvicating. The green tea is not cutting it. There's a restaurant that has the best ribs just a ways up the road, so that's where I'm going.

Blog alternative:
123. Mix some poetry & physics. Or biology & stamp-collecting. Or ? & ?.

Me & my shadow

2008-04-09T12:24:00.000-07:00

This is my mom & I on the trail through the gorge of the Stillwater River. Vicki Genfan is doing a mother's day song, requesting images from her fans. I submitted this one, so it will probably be on her song. I'll give you the details whence I have them.

Can't blog long, as I didn't bring a cord & the computer is running low on battery. I'll just tell you that the other morning, in the bathtub, I was feeling like a million dollars & I laughed out loud & thought, "Well, I suppose a girl can go on discount every once in a while." A mere million dollars! Hah!

Life is proceeding swimmingly. Battery is at 16%.

Hence, blog alternative:
122. Give yourself a very generous appraisal of value--oh, you can include bank accounts & IRAs if you want, but I think you should start with your smile or your hula hooping ability...

Modigliani vs. Mozart

2008-04-04T15:03:00.000-07:00

This is a photograph--all swirly--of some of my beautifully-musical relatives at a family reunion Memorial Day weekend 2006.

I have acquired an A string for the cello.

They're expensive! But I guess you can't play cello without them. Or you could, but it would be a different sound.

I've been thinking about the cello & about practicing & about why I have it. I love the sound, but I can get that by listening to cds. Not in the same way, certainly. Not feeling that live resonance of an instrument nestled against ones chest. I do want that. I do want a feeling of accomplishment, of skills gained.

I don't want a burden or duty or drudgery. So I've been going slowly, feeling my way into this. After all, I've been not playing cello for almost 49 years--a few more days or weeks of that is inconsequential.

I suspect once I get going it will feed my soul in a way that infuses my entire life, much as starting to play with polymer clay & then to paint & draw did 11 years ago this spring. I was in a bit of a burn-out state with my writing & my daily life at that point, & art revitalized me. It made me a better writer, a better parent, a better person. It was never a case of all right, get in there & paint, whether you want to or not.

Perhaps it was because I had a natural knack for art. I'm no Modigliani, but I'm a heck of a lot closer to Modigliani than I am to Mozart. I'm not saying I'm not musical, but it isn't as natural for me as for many of my relatives, who are fiddle champions & Juilliard grads & such. They trade instruments at whim. Fiddle for mandolin for guitar. No prob. I have one uncle who could play string instruments & then happened upon a clarinet. A couple exploratory blows & then he could just play it. That's natural genius. I'm hoping for a bit of affinity. I'll go at this at my own pace.

In the meantime, though, the cello has already done things for my creativity. I dusted off my guitar the other day. I got out my watercolors. I started a story that has--what a surprise--a cello as a major plot point. (This is not that unusual, as I have no less than 2 novels--one drafted & one half done--in which the cello also figures prominently. Both begun long before the cello was acquired.)

Anyway, I'm leisurely loving on the idea of the cello. Will it be a big part of my life? We shall see.

In case I was not clear about it, the picture from the previous blog was created by me myself, using my tablet computer & the Paint program.

In other news--I've come to a revelation about the IRS. They're my employees! I'll try to be a good, kind, motivating boss, expecting the best from them. They've got a tough job, after all, with not much appreciation flowing their way.

Blog alternative:
121. Think kindly of the IRS. (Or, if not kindly, at least more kindly than you have been...)

Bon appetit

2008-03-31T14:16:00.000-07:00

My first post from my new tablet computer!
Here's a delicious piece of art to celebrate.

Blog alternative:
120. Enjoy a tasty piece of art. Bonus points if it's one you created.

Conspiracy theories & orchid sex

2008-03-31T11:43:00.000-07:00

Here is a stone wall seen through an arched window in another stone wall at a ruin in Ireland, September 2005. Rocks rock.

I had my first cello lesson, as reported in my last post. Don't ask me how the practicing has gone. Grin. Okay, I'll tell you anyway. I did practice this morning, for the first time. I won't be playing with a symphony--or even on a street corner--any time soon at this rate.

The high today in Asheville is supposed to be 50 degrees. It still seems like spring now, with all the flowers. Nothing like the scene inside at the Arboretum this weekend though--Orchids, orchids everywhere. Exotic & fragrant & lovely. They were--well, I'm just going to spit it out--they were like sex personified. Life lusting after itself. The universe making love to itself. My eyes & nose thought so, & if I'd dared touch any of the delicate beauties I bet my fingers would have agreed. Holy flower show, Batman.

I'm at a coffee shop now, about to start playing with receipts & Quicken. Amazing how a little task like that can make blogging so attractive. (Behold the positive aspects of procrastination...)

Ooh, almost forgot. I looked at a couple houses on Friday, a for-sale-by-owner which was bigger than I need & a cute little (overpriced) house that the first guy (the owner/builder of the bigger house) told me about. I called the realty company on the sign & the (I just love the universe!) realtor who came out to meet me was someone I knew from this one time when I went to get goat milk & yogurt & eggs from my computer guy & he & this friend of his were working on a fence. At the time, I was signed up for a condo downtown, so I didn't pay that much attention when my computer guy's friend gave me his realty card. But, the condo prices changed (by about $60K) from when I signed up, so I got back my deposit & started looking around & now, here's a great realtor I get a good vibe from just handed to me. (I'd just looked at this to-do list that included "Realtor" & later that afternoon, voila!)

It's funny, once again, how the universe works. The woman at the table behind me at the coffee shop is trying to tell someone about being proactive--saying the person has responsibilities, whether the person is acknowledging them or not. She's had several loud phone conversations in here already, & I've been a little bit judgmental about that, but now I'm choosing to take advantage of the lesson she's giving her phone client.

Ahem! I am acknowledging my need/desire to get these receipts corralled & branded (us Montana girls can only masquerade as Southern belles for so long) in a timely fashion.

Now she's talking about transitions & paranoia. I don't have to listen to the paranoia part. I actually do have a conspiracy theory--I believe the universe is conspiring for me.

Are you still here? Don't you have anything better to do than read about me overhearing some woman in a coffee shop? I bet you do...

Blog alternative:
119. Come up with a conspiracy theory--how someone is out to gift you.